daryl and john (fan account)

I am 5'11 but please respect that I identify as 6'3.

[daryl and john (fan account) @pudgination]

When the diner waitress calls you hun it is short for hungover

[daryl and john (fan account) @pudgination]

🎶Private i's their watching you🎶

[daryl and john (fan account) @pudgination]

I love hall and oates

[daryl and john (fan account) @pudgination]

"I cant go for that" and "mano a mano" being back to back on the private eyes album is almost too much to handle. Kudos to Daryl and John on that, they are gods amongs men

[Hard Drive @HardDriveMag]

every drink should have a "code red"

[daryl and john (fan account) @pudgination]

You gotta remember you still gotta pay the green fees even on a gimme putt

[PFT Commenter @PFTCommenter]

If theres no wifi on a plane you should be aloud to smoke

[thomas violence @thomas_violence]

pitch: cooking travel show called You Came To The Wrong Place where I get bagels in Denver, cheesesteaks in Tucson, deep dish pizza in Omaha, gumbo in San Francisco, BBQ in Bismarck etc

[daryl and john (fan account) @pudgination]

It's April Fool's Day, not April rules day #breakthelaw!

[alexa @alexadoingstuff]

the haters are furious to hear that i’m spending a sunday NOT hungover

[daryl and john (fan account) @pudgination]

Im a couple of wrong turns away from becoming a guy who uses a shopping cart in the mall

[daryl and john (fan account) @pudgination]

If had you had a time machine would you go back in time and kill the inventor of the e-bike when he was a baby?

[Followers For Algernon @bonerhitler]

I’m an adult and I still have a favorite color. I don’t even care. It’s green. Fuck you.

[daryl and john (fan account) @pudgination]

If you dress up as frosty for halloween and go thumpety thump thump with a girl you have to promise to be back again someday

[daryl and john (fan account) @pudgination]

Looks like its 1 am and im about to dip into my drafts. Is it gonna be an out of season Halloween tweet or an out of season xmas tweet? Stay tuned to find out

[Mike Commodore @commie22]

I am #InOne

[daryl and john (fan account) @pudgination]

I cant remember if i googled the allman brothers before or after i called my friend duane allman. Real chicken/egg situation on that one

[daryl and john (fan account) @pudgination]

Gonna revolutionize dinner with pressert and aftertizers

[daryl and john (fan account) @pudgination]

Going to the park and yelling "what's your GPA?!?!" At joggers wearing university apparel and nicknaming myself 'the dean'