Pun Patrol

Brightening your day one pun at a time

[Pun Patrol @pun_patrol]

Man walks into a fish and chip shop with a salmon under his arm, asks if they have any fish cakes - they said no sorry we just sold out, he said ‘shame it’s his birthday today’

[Pun Patrol @pun_patrol]

Saw one of my condiments wasn’t in the drawer. Mustard gone missing

[Pun Patrol @pun_patrol]

Fragrant candles? Makes scents.

[Pun Patrol @pun_patrol]

My friend wanted to throw a ball down an alley at ten pins, but I must say, I wasnt bowled over by the idea...

[Pun Patrol @pun_patrol]

A lot of people don't think they'll ever get to see Journey live. I say to them, don't stop believing

#Pun #Punny #punoftheday #Joke #Funny #JokesDaily #fun

[Pun Patrol @pun_patrol]

Tried to eat the world’s largest Greek salad, unfortunately it got the Feta of me

[Pun Patrol @pun_patrol]

The worst thing about being a baker is everyone buys me flours for my birthday

[Pun Patrol @pun_patrol]

To everyone that got me armoured vehicles for my birthday this year - Many tanks! #CoachQuiz

[Pun Patrol @pun_patrol]

Don't know who's opening all these contemporary galleries up in London, but they've got it down to a fine art!

#Pun #Punny #punoftheday #Joke #Funny #JokesDaily

[Pun Patrol @pun_patrol]

Found my career as an orthodontist far too frustrating. It was like pulling teeth!

#Pun #Punny #punoftheday #Joke #Funny #JokesDaily

[Pun Patrol @pun_patrol]

All these new privacy policy regulations are crazy, even my hairdresser has one! I had to accept the terms and conditioners.

[Pun Patrol @pun_patrol]

People rave about the trash can convention but I was underwhelmed. Bin there, done that.

#Pun #Punny #punoftheday #Joke #Funny #JokesDaily

[Pun Patrol @pun_patrol]

All the people on my street share the same timepiece, it's the Neighbourhood Watch

[Pun Patrol @pun_patrol]

Came across a very peculiar 4x4 the other day. It was a Strange Rover Discovery.

#Pun #Punny #punoftheday #Joke #Funny #JokesDaily #RangeRover

[Pun Patrol @pun_patrol]

Went to a retirement party for a friend who was a referee.

Was a good final send off for him.

[Pun Patrol @pun_patrol]

My mum always used to wear flashlights as shoes. She was very light on her feet!

#Pun #Punny #punoftheday #Joke #Funny #JokesDaily #Light #LightHumour #Torch

[Pun Patrol @pun_patrol]

I’ve had a few thoughts on writing a book recently but it’s just a novel idea.

#Pun #Punny #punoftheday #Joke #Funny #JokesDaily #Writing #Novel

[Pun Patrol @pun_patrol]

My friend is moving in with her twin sister next week.

They’re going to be wombmates again.

[Pun Patrol @pun_patrol]

Glass panels are a real pane to install

#Pun #Punny #punoftheday #Joke #Funny #JokesDaily

[Pun Patrol @pun_patrol]

QUIET! We're quizzing. #CoachQuiz