Scarlet Sassy-Britches

Just me myself and I. 100% real, honest, sassy britches.

[Scarlet Sassy-Britches @PunchyScarlet]

What's fun as a person with anxiety is I started thinking about this hike I'm planning for my family and I went through a whole scenario in my head where my toddler and I get bit by a rattlesnake and the whole process of evacuating to the hospital. Also it's 2:46am. #anxiety

[adidas @adidas]

40 days until #FIFAWorldCup

[Scarlet Sassy-Britches @PunchyScarlet]

Want a little dose of high level anxiety in the morning? Try having your toddler cook eggs with you.
#toddlerlife #toddler #boymom

[Scarlet Sassy-Britches @PunchyScarlet]

I'm shopping for a litter box enclosure for my cat and honestly I'm just horrified imagining my toddler climbing inside it to check out the kitty fort 😬
#catmom #boymom #toddlers

[Scarlet Sassy-Britches @PunchyScarlet]

My 17mo boy just knelt on my boob while we were wrestling and it was like an adorable, painful, tiny mammogram. #parenting #boymom #tinymammogram

[Scarlet Sassy-Britches @PunchyScarlet]

Unpacking my 1st frozen order from @thrivemarket and I am so happy with how everything was packaged. I recently ordered some vegan cheese through another company that got damaged in shipping and was pretty disappointed. It's so nice to have a company that is always on their game.

[Scarlet Sassy-Britches @PunchyScarlet]

I am irrationally angry about diapers at 2:30 a.m. I mean, what the ever loving fuck? We have a blowout almost every night and my poor baby wakes up crying soaked in pee. The diapers are not even that loaded 😡 They're even nighttime diapers!! #diaperfail #parentalwoes

[Scarlet Sassy-Britches @PunchyScarlet]

I struggle with the fact that people think I'm the same person after having a child or thinking that I will do the same things as I did before. No I do not have time to do puzzles or read magazines with a one-year-old. It's amazing if I get to pee alone. #momlife #boymom

[Scientific American @sciam]

"The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy" by Douglas Adams was published 42 years ago this week. In the novel, 42 is "the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe and everything."

What is special about the number 42? https://t.co/kcBQIVKe0i

[Sam Sykes @SamSykesSwears]

what the hell is going on at loretta's

[Scientific American @sciam]

A woman in Canada narrowly missed being struck by a meteorite that crashed through her roof and landed on her pillow. https://t.co/Jvma26cz5W

[March For Science @MarchForScience]

👇👇👇👇👇

[Scarlet Sassy-Britches @PunchyScarlet]

If I have to hear someone use the word Shacket one more time I'm going to punch them right in their pumpkin spice latte.
#fall #psl #shacketvsshirtjac #fashion

[Scarlet Sassy-Britches @PunchyScarlet]

@AndreBraugher He has a tattoo of a tie 😁

[Scarlet Sassy-Britches @PunchyScarlet]

You never realize how loud your favorite foods are until you have a baby...
She thought as she tried to quietly smoosh popcorn in her mouth.
#momlife #loudsnacks #boymom

[Scarlet Sassy-Britches @PunchyScarlet]

So much truth.

[Mette Angerhofer @MetteAngerhofer]

Dear husband,

The truth is, I do all of my online shopping while trapped beneath a sleeping baby. We might save some money if you took on more of the nighttime feedings.

[Scarlet Sassy-Britches @PunchyScarlet]

As if it weren't bad enough that I inherited the 3rd plague of daycare, I also had to start my period for the first time postpartum. Hormone hot flashes and chills are now joining my sore throat. Way to kick a gal in the ovaries mother nature. Funny. Ha. Ha.

[Scarlet Sassy-Britches @PunchyScarlet]

Nothing like the husky lower octave of a sleep deprived mother who is infected with daycare germs. Hello fellas.
#momlife #boymom #daycarediseases #makeitstop

[Scarlet Sassy-Britches @PunchyScarlet]

CANNOT WAIT!!

[Pulkit @Oletrain]

Exactly one more month for the PL to start!

[Scarlet Sassy-Britches @PunchyScarlet]

Worked on the budget, and talked to my sis while my baby took an hour and a half nap on my lap. Killing 👏 it 👏