I woke up nearly an hour ago, came online, and saw everything. I need to take some time to process everything. My comfort ship has been completely shattered and I need to prioritize regulating myself outside of this fandom.
As my mental health slowly deteriorated over the past few months, I relied on their content to help me keep afloat. I allowed my love for them to evolve to a whole new level to do something I've never done before, to where excitedly planning fan projects and dreaming about it, became my new coping mechanism. But now... I don't know what's gonna happen anymore, and I feel uneasy and shaken in my body. I lost my coping mechanisms; I know it wasn't healthy and I shouldn't have allowed it to become my coping mechanisms in the first place.
Hey, this isn’t about taking sides. We understand each other perfectly well. If sharing things like this is only going to cause problems, then I don’t want to share anymore. I can’t come here and explain this every single time. :^D Please respect each other!
Pundao baby, I don’t know what you’re going through right now, and I may never fully understand how you feel, but I just want you to know that you don’t have to face this difficult time alone. Whatever happened, please give yourself time to breathe, to rest, and to take care of your own heart. You’ve always been someone who quietly takes care of the people you love, so this time, I hope you’ll remember to take care of yourself too. You don’t have to be strong every moment. It’s okay to feel hurt, confused, angry, or simply tired. Take things one day at a time, and don’t rush yourself to have all the answers.
Even though I’m far away, please know that my support for you hasn’t changed. I’ll still be here, cheering for you from afar, just like before. I hope little by little, you’ll find your strength again, smile a little more, and remember how deeply you are cared for. Whatever the road ahead looks like, I hope it leads you to a place where your heart feels safe and peaceful again. Please take good care of yourself. You deserve kindness and lots of love too 🫂🤍
#pundao