Ben Taylor

monkey man

[Ben Taylor @punk_is_bread]

@Orbital_Teapot_ @dtsarun @RadishHarmers @malmesburyman No but statement 4 does. Luigi's not-knowing establishes that he doesn't have 0, so if Mario has 1 then he should know that Luigi has more. If Mario still doesn't know, it must be because he has more than 1

[Downloadable King Von Texture Pack Banned in Japan @bobo_circus]

aw man im sorry your mom died dude. although evolutionary psychology can actually explain a lot about why you're sad. see, when we were monkeys, we would get sad when our moms died because it meant we would get less berries,

[Ben Taylor @punk_is_bread]

So I'm making dinner plans with my plans with my friend who's a mouse (yup, you heard that right) sitting there thinking I swear if you suggest a—

"How about a cheese restaurant?"

😏Figures. But here's the best part: I ask which one and goes "well, there's this hole in the wall

[Ben Taylor @punk_is_bread]

Mice be like I just found this hole-in-the-wall cheese restaurant

[Ben Taylor @punk_is_bread]

Mice: "I just found this great cheese restaurant. A real hole-in-the-wall"

[Ben Taylor @punk_is_bread]

In this difficult economy, working as an operator for the morning music show at a Greek conservative radio station, once a prestigious position, no longer pays the bills. Many are finding themselves forced to take on a side gig playing piano at a beloved Vietnamese restaurant

[Ben Taylor @punk_is_bread]

@pharmadelica yeah😕

[Ben Taylor @punk_is_bread]

@dumbitry like a baby!

[Ben Taylor @punk_is_bread]

When you wake up the first thing people wanna ask is "how'd you sleep?" How the hell should I know? I was asleep the whole time.

[Ben Taylor @punk_is_bread]

(attached to picture of me with my darling wife of ten years whose name I never got and by now it's way too late to ask) me and who?

[Ben Taylor @punk_is_bread]

@coolestdudeyet Asia

[Ben Taylor @punk_is_bread]

Just gave my phone number to a Mormon group bc they were too charming and affable for me to say no...oh well

[Ben Taylor @punk_is_bread]

Been working a "9 to 5"—a job that requires me to go to bed at 9 PM and wake up at 5 AM

[Ben Taylor @punk_is_bread]

Barbara Streisand committed the most famous example of accidentally increasing the profile of a scandal by trying to hide it. So famous, in fact, that this phenomenon has superseded the scandal itself, and nobody knows what she even did. I call this the "Streisand Effect Effect"

[Ben Taylor @punk_is_bread]

have i been watching love island you ask? i already live there...you may know it as montreal

[jeanne ne sais quoi @MetaReflexive]

RIP https://t.co/L3PI3lBttq

[Ben Taylor @punk_is_bread]

@pharmadelica do another one like this https://t.co/SuiYnrRubX

[Wealth Professional @pharmadelica]

Call me Disney the way this Mickey got me feeling Goofy

[Ben Taylor @punk_is_bread]

@pharmadelica ☺️

[Ben Taylor @punk_is_bread]

i pope now?