Mr. Punnage

[Mr. Punnage @punnage]

My brother occasionally eats paperclips. But they’re not part of his staple diet. #joke #pun

[Mr. Punnage @punnage]

My dad was an horologist. He was often working around the clock #joke #pun

[Mr. Punnage @punnage]

There’s a lot of money in archeology. But only if you can find it #joke

[Mr. Punnage @punnage]

Did a beekeeping course yesterday, still buzzing #joke #pun

[Mr. Punnage @punnage]

The government has just announced plans to impose a legal limit on the strength of squash have been watered down #pun #joke

[Mr. Punnage @punnage]

I bet with this #barbie film they’re going to end up launching a bunch of dolls to go with it

[Mr. Punnage @punnage]

If anyone ever says they’re into bullfighting, I take it as a massive red flag #joke #pun

[Mr. Punnage @punnage]

My mum put nitrous in my Bisto - she made me a laughing stock #joke #pun

[Mr. Punnage @punnage]

So I’m a professional skydiver… I just sort of fell into it #joke #pun

[Mr. Punnage @punnage]

My meeting with Santa overran. In the end I had to ask him to wrap things up #joke #pun

[Mr. Punnage @punnage]

In #spare Harry reveals Will installed heated and cooled seating throughout Buckingham palace. But then he is the heir to the throne. #joke #pun

[Mr. Punnage @punnage]

Fact: popes usually pay with PaPal #joke #pun

[Mr. Punnage @punnage]

At my wedding the tailor made my trousers 6” too long - still it suited me right down to the ground #joke #pun

[Mr. Punnage @punnage]

Ate a pack of baby bels in Louisiana. Sweet baby cheeses. #joke #pun

[Mr. Punnage @punnage]

My brother’s origami business folded ☹️ #joke #pun

[Mr. Punnage @punnage]

I love nuts, so after university I went into macadamia #joke #pun

[Mr. Punnage @punnage]

My mate Ant choked to death on some pasta. I always think of him when I have rigatoni #joke #pun

[Mr. Punnage @punnage]

When I’m poorly all I can manage is plane food, and that gets really expensive #joke #pun

[Mr. Punnage @punnage]

When I asked my brother why dark, German breads always stick in his teeth he said nothing, but gave a wry smile #joke #pun

[Mr. Punnage @punnage]

As Prince Andrew offers to visit for a week or two over summer…