Andi Giles

If you've done something right
people won't be sure
you've done
anything at all

[Andi Giles @punsmasterflex]

Today I saw a wild "ripping-out-of-Swiss Chalet- blasting-Nickleback-in-my-GMC" male. Unfortunately, not endangered.

[Andi Giles @punsmasterflex]

Philosophical conversations with middle aged women are becoming a weekly occurrence for me and it's making my life at least 20% better.

[Andi Giles @punsmasterflex]

Bad pun time:
"How are you feeling today?"
"I feel the same as the only way a steak should be done"
"What??"
"Fair to medium"

[Andi Giles @punsmasterflex]

@mcbrineellis a muggle would say that

[Andi Giles @punsmasterflex]

@mcbrineellis a wizard is never late, nor is he early. A wizard arrives precisely when he means to.

[Andi Giles @punsmasterflex]

Watching the Trolls movie and seeing the sparkly guy fart glitter and I'm just over here like:
same

[Andi Giles @punsmasterflex]

@mcbrineellis thank you always for your loving support

[Andi Giles @punsmasterflex]

@theyearofelan both
Both is good.

[Andi Giles @punsmasterflex]

@mcbrineellis they're 'training' for their relationship

[Andi Giles @punsmasterflex]

Korean equivalent of "Netflix and chill" is "Ramen and go". Good to know ramen is just as sexual as I thought it was.

[Andi Giles @punsmasterflex]

@llama_ajol yoooo when's that comeback gunna happen gurl?

[Andi Giles @punsmasterflex]

@birnsi dispose of them

[Andi Giles @punsmasterflex]

Toranoko Rammy (*^。^*)

[Andi Giles @punsmasterflex]

Today a 75 year old man made fun of me for "not knowing how to fist bump"

[Andi Giles @punsmasterflex]

@realxcho no one owns a map, this isn't 1991

[Andi Giles @punsmasterflex]

Highlight of my day: the doc I work for asking every patient what they think fo the Bradgelina® split and everyone giving emphatic answers

[Andi Giles @punsmasterflex]

Co worker: "what kind of music do you like?"
Me: *K-pop rages in my brain*
"Oh ya know... Normal stuff...."

[Andi Giles @punsmasterflex]

Mom: “You shouldn’t be eating so late at night”

Me: *searching “Crap I can’t find it!”

Mom: “What?”

Me: “WHERE I ASKED FOR YOUR OPINION"