|| I've come to the realization that I don't want to be in this fandom anymore. As a trans person, I have no interest in writing in a transphobe's fantasy world about n4z1 wizards. I can't justify it anymore, and I don't want to. My time is better spent writing my own stories.
โ "If I'd had it my way, I would have never married. There's no need. Isn't it just a distraction? Having someone over your shoulder all the time..."
"Yes you can. She is your sister โ and I'm sure she would love to have someone to complain to."
He stared down at her, letting his hand drop again. "When you marry someone, the honeymoon phase doesn't last forever. With us, we've been stuck honeymooning since we met. โ
โ You can't possibly know me - how it would be to spend every day with me - while we do this in secrecy. That's why marriage is such a sham. You can't know if it's right until it's been so long, and by then you hate each other."
He pulled away, needing a bit of space. โ
He sighed, but let her move him.
"I just told you why you shouldn't feel safe, yet you do. If you would only speak with Bellatrix โ"
He pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes. "You shouldn't trust me when I don't even trust myself."
"You don't think that it would wear on you? That one day you won't just... Snap? That I won't get belligerently drunk and say things you don't want to hear? Or get too... Rough.. And hurt you?"
He paused.
"... Those are the things that /I/ worry about."
"I didn't say that I was ready."
He rested his hands on the windowsill, leaning his weight onto one foot.
"But I... I don't know... It feels like we've been chasing a fantasy."
Rodolphus swallowed. She was effectively brainwashed.
"... You do realize that he /did/ choose carefully, my dear? You... Were always the quietest. The most obedient. The most sensitive."
He stopped pacing to stand at the window, gazing outside. โ
He slowly nodded, his fingers curling around the fabric of his sleeves as he pulled his robes tighter around himself.
This was never going to work. From the beginning, they'd always been doomed โ but Andromeda had become so dependent on him, he hadn't realized โ
โ She was too fragile. No part of him trusted her to let him continue to feed into his dark desires, and once they made the decision to leave their families, there was absolutely no going back. Rodolphus was unwilling to change, and now the future rested on Andromeda's shoulders.