Elvis Jumariness Dav

i am the god

[Elvis Jumariness Dav @purnx]

@bedbugs99 poem: the faeces in your cornflakes/ jiblets in the sea/ i want to eat your snake/ so gently caress my plastic goatee

[Elvis Jumariness Dav @purnx]

my erection is so astronomical i could place it across mid england and stop cars and birds from gething across

[Elvis Jumariness Dav @purnx]

*mr grapplegruber stands up in the middle of the shareholders* "I KNoW WHAT WE dO!" Whats that Mr. G? "We blind the poor."

[Elvis Jumariness Dav @purnx]

chebilicious is a word i use to describe when my inner colon becomez moderately satisfied. murmur praise. herher. chebilicious.

[Elvis Jumariness Dav @purnx]

@rihanna poo

[Elvis Jumariness Dav @purnx]

penis cut. wash away blood with aphid mucus. still annoyingly persistent. sulphurik acid directly to throat. end the pain of existing.

[Elvis Jumariness Dav @purnx]

being a #BacterialCell is either perpetually beautiful or immediately shite .x

[Elvis Jumariness Dav @purnx]

"immigration reforms must be met!".*moves family into well* "immigration reforms are substandard!" *moves family into thimble*

[Elvis Jumariness Dav @purnx]

no matter what,they tell you, life is a sweet box of misery coated in icing: the only nice bit of the cake

[Elvis Jumariness Dav @purnx]

@CaptainToss sarcasm is the lowest form of tit.

that's hilarious

[Elvis Jumariness Dav @purnx]

"such is life" i murmur as i gaze upon the virtual argument between two sentient mortals: 420blazeit and blazeit420

[Elvis Jumariness Dav @purnx]

*don't worry Mrs winstonflower, I respected yur husband in life*

(but not in death)

*cut to imgur of me masturbating on husbands grave*

[Elvis Jumariness Dav @purnx]

@Auld_Da_Jim @Laslo_Panaflex i still stand unabashed . follow me to death Sir Stradlin nd i'll show you the real meaning of galactic rule

[Elvis Jumariness Dav @purnx]

@Auld_Da_Jim i'm making a new religion. follow, and receive fervor and germination objects for when the apocooolypse stops paying rent.

[Elvis Jumariness Dav @purnx]

@HIDEO_KOJIMA_EN you will be judged by us Godz. don't worry. you are good videogames person x

[Elvis Jumariness Dav @purnx]

@geoffkeighley you will be judged by us gods . you are bad videogames person. fear the reaper. (sorry x)

[Elvis Jumariness Dav @purnx]

@Laslo_Panaflex you will be judged perpetually on d'96th of 4th moon . don't fret, you are good videogames person.

[Elvis Jumariness Dav @purnx]

@wettbutt im sorry about earlierr. i love you

[Elvis Jumariness Dav @purnx]

*me on a surfboard* *notices hot chick* "hey der!" *Girl tuerns to see what the caffufle is all about* *angry face* *alredy underwater*

[Elvis Jumariness Dav @purnx]

@wettbutt patriarchy vs flapjack crumbs. me and you, 1v1. fucker.