Felicia Tay

Welcome to my feed of self-deprecating tweets and low-key hardcore complaining. Fun!

[Felicia Tay @purrlicia]

Sometimes I catch a glimpse of myself in video calls and get absolutely startled by how bitchy my resting face is.

[Felicia Tay @purrlicia]

One intrusive thought I have is “don’t bluff lah 🙄” when parents tell me they are a no-screentime household.

[Felicia Tay @purrlicia]

One of my greatest fears in life is accidentally singing out loud in the office.

[Felicia Tay @purrlicia]

Doing a personality test. Weird, can’t seem to find the option that says “I want to vomit”.

[Felicia Tay @purrlicia]

Wish someone would make that guy opposite me stop singing. Off-key. We are in a shared office space but I’m sure no one wants him to share that.

[Felicia Tay @purrlicia]

My brain today: This ice cream is too cold, I will let it sit to warm up a little.

[Felicia Tay @purrlicia]

@bluecheesepan HAHAHA it’s ok. Sometimes in life we all need some green bananas.

[Felicia Tay @purrlicia]

Ok so hear me out. People who buy green bananas are procrastinators who need pressure to get shit done.

[Felicia Tay @purrlicia]

Shout out to my husband who just laughs off my Harry Styles obsession.

But jokes aside he should be worried.

[Felicia Tay @purrlicia]

I almost didn’t survive the Harry Styles concert because look at this man. This is a MAN right there, even in a feather boa GODDAMIT. My amount of sweating… profuse.

[Felicia Tay @purrlicia]

I binge chick flicks and have come to a conclusion. These are my favourite love story tropes ranked:

3. Enemies to lovers
2. Bad boy falls in love with good girl
1. Love triangle

DAMN, I live for the guy-secretly-in-love-with-his-best-friend’s-girl type of chaos.

[Felicia Tay @purrlicia]

Conversion with my toddler.

“I want to ride on a shark.”
“I don’t think we can ride on sharks.”
“We can! On the back, can.”

I mean I guess we could.

[Felicia Tay @purrlicia]

To those people who vehemently shit on fast-fashion brands. Fam. Your panties, bra, briefs or boxers better be thrifted.

[Felicia Tay @purrlicia]

People who wish me a “safe flight” give me anxiety because that’s NOT UP TO ME, IS IT. Like can you please take that energy to the pilot instead.

[Felicia Tay @purrlicia]

Dentists who tell parents to floss their two-year-old’s teeth have probably never had to fight a two-year-old. And lose.

[Felicia Tay @purrlicia]

@chinweilien @AmazonSG Hey. I would never.

[Felicia Tay @purrlicia]

@chinweilien @AmazonSG That means noise cancelling headphones to block out the reno noise from next door. But I only got that from reading it five times.

[Felicia Tay @purrlicia]

I still wear a mask in the office mostly because I’m paranoid. But also because I can lip sync undetected.

[Felicia Tay @purrlicia]

As a millennial mom I didn’t think I’d use the phrase “LATER POLICE CATCH YOU AH”. But I bellowed it in a fit of rage all but five minutes ago.

[Felicia Tay @purrlicia]

Lost my shit at my two-year-old this morning because she wanted to go to Jewel naked.