Today in 1973, the greatest horse race in history was run.
Secretariat won the Belmont Stakes by 31 lengths to become the Triple Crown winner and set a world record time that has never been beaten!
🎥: CBS Broadcast
No MSG watch party outside the Garden during the biggest game of the year because a selfish weirdo chooses to want to make himself the center of attention during a moment where the vibes have been immaculate . Y’all president is really a weirdo.
NEW YORK CITY, YOU LISTEN TO ME.
IF YOUR NEAR A CONVENIENCE STORE RIGHT NOW, ANY KIND OF 24 HOUR STORE, GO INTO THE STORE RIGHT NOW, AND PUT YOUR HAND IN THE CASH REGISTER FOR NO REASON. THEIR MONEY IS YOUR MONEY, AS OF RIGHT NOW.
Things most Americans agree on:
Groceries cost too much.
Tariffs suck and make no sense.
Congress and Presidents shouldn’t trade stocks.
The debt is a mess.
The border should be secure, but legal immigration is good.
Endless wars are stupid, especially ones that nobody wants and have never been explained.
Americans are exhausted.
AI is like my new best friend that also might be trying to take my job, my ability to think for myself, and my humanity in the process. Yo like I love you, but WTF, but I still love you.
Diversity is actually awesome! The opposite is boring AF.
Canadians are super fucking cool.
Mexicans are chill.
Putin isn’t a good guy looking out for America’s best interest. Rocky IV and Miracle are great movies.
Good neighbors are a blessing.
Freedom of religion and coexistence without having to blow each other up is probably a good idea.
We all question, are we alone in the universe?
We all fuck up along the way.
Epstein didn’t hang himself.
The Trumps and Epstein were best friends for decades. It’s like Bert trying to tell us Ernie was just an acquaintance in the same social scene on Sesame Street back in the day.
The Cowboys suck. Go Birds!
Things we’re told to fight about:
Me.
Laptop.
Vaccines.
Transgenders in sports.
Pronouns.
That’s the joke.
So let me get this straight.
Jake Tapper is focused on attacking my Mom.
Jared and Ivanka are building a private island paradise on Albanian protected land.
Don Jr married the daughter of Epstein’s banker, and a startup his fund backs just got a record $620M Pentagon loan.
Eric is taking an Israeli drone company public for $1.5B in the middle of a war with Iran that nobody wanted.
And I know: “But what about your paintings, Hunter?”
Please.
Frederik Andersen has allowed 20 goals in 13 playoff games.
Twenty.
He’s played every minute in #SoundTheSiren 12-1 run - and has a shot to shatter modern records.
Fewest GA:
2012 #LAKings Quick 38 GA (20 GP)
2003 #njdevils Brodeur 40 GA (24)
1996 #GoAvsGo Roy 41 GA (22)
How’d the offensive chemistry coming along Andy?
“Good, guys are doing a nice job. Everybody is working in. Once we get our top receiver out of jail we’ll be ready to roll”
Once again. For the thousandth time.
Rashee Rice cannot be trusted off the field.
Get him off this team. Do not pay him a dime.
Sign Jennings, Tyreek, Diggs, someone. They're all more trustworthy than this dude at this point.
Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.