ɹǝlʎʇ

if something is true, it is not sentimental

[Spoon & Tamago @Johnny_suputama]

competitive daydreamers gathered in Tokyo today for the “2024 Space-out Competition”

Heart rates were checked and anyone who laughs, talks or dozes off was eliminated during the 90 min competition.

[Sharif Kouddous شريف عبد القدوس @sharifkouddous]

The Ministry of Health in Gaza has just published a 649-page document with the the name, age, gender, ID number of every Palestinian killed in Gaza from October 7 to August 31 that it has info for (over 34k out of 40k). The 1st 14 pages the age is listed as 0 (under 1 year old)

[Abby Olcese @abbyolcese]

I'm sitting next to a Lincoln impersonator at the airport bar. He's watching MSNBC reporting on yesterday's assassination attempt. This is easily the most surreal thing I've ever witnessed.

[Noah Garfinkel @NoahGarfinkel]

A key point missing in a lot of post debate analysis is that Trump’s claim about immigrants eating pets almost perfectly syncs up to the piano in the Peanuts theme song.

[ClickHole @ClickHole]

They've arrived!

[Mario Mario @NintendoPlumber]

That was-a NOT what I-a meant . . .

[ɹǝlʎʇ @puttertutters]

i don't know this song's time sig (sure as heck AIN'T 4/4) and i'm not totally sure what that japanese lady is singing about (i heard a "desu ka" and a "watashi no" in there at least, so i know she doesn't know everything and owns stuff) but it shuts up 95% of my mind like i like

[ɹǝlʎʇ @puttertutters]

She’s my wife now.

[ɹǝlʎʇ @puttertutters]

IM ON A DATE FOR THE FIRST@TIME@SINCE ‘018 and I’m NErVOUSSSSSSSSSS

[ɹǝlʎʇ @puttertutters]

She’s my fiancée now.

[todd dillard @toddedillard]

five people died and six were wounded when British soldiers fired into an angry mob of American colonists and we call that The Boston Massacre

100 dead and 700 injured Palestinians waiting for food though? “chaotic incident”

so sick of this

[LUCIL∀ @denpanopticon]

funniest 2 panel strip ever written like literally nothing will beat this i think about this and it makes me laugh it's perfect

[Barstool Sports @barstoolsports]

We are only 1 day into the college baseball season and Sacramento State’s Matt Masciangelo has already been hit by a pitch 7 times @StoolBaseball

[ɹǝlʎʇ @puttertutters]

staying up past midnight doing school work i procrastinated like it's 2011

[ɹǝlʎʇ @puttertutters]

Remember when Twitter was a happy community where people posted how they did on the day’s Wordle?

[ɹǝlʎʇ @puttertutters]

⬜️🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️
🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️
🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️🟨
⬜️⬜️🟩🟩🟩
⬜️🟩🟩🟩🟩
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
People still do this, right?

[ɹǝlʎʇ @puttertutters]

The CVS parking lot is absolutely packed and it’s making me nervous to go in.

[My Aunt Fanny 🇵🇸🇻🇪🇮🇷 @Dienne_7]

Remember, kids, Biden is powerless to forgive student loan debt without Congressional approval.

[Pop-Tarts Bowl @PopTartsBowl]

It had to be done!

[ɹǝlʎʇ @puttertutters]

Twitter is lame now.