Patrick

Once called funny by someone I knew

[Patrick @pveronneau]

Paint it black.

Or fuchsia? Fuchsia's nice.

[meghan @deloisivete]

There are two wolves inside you

webmd: wolf cancer

[Bob Golen @BobGolen]

Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.

[introvert @livewithnoregrt]

tip of the day: let things be, don’t force anything

[Adam @adamgreattweet]

you don’t truly know a person until you hear the weird things they say to their pet

[The B. @anerdonfire2]

No no babe, don't touch the delusions.

[That bitch with the bacon tattoo @tashaneedshelp]

Have you tried covering it in garlic butter?

[✦ eve ✦ @impossiblyeve]

mfs would rather die than let u merge on the freeway

[Stacey @skittle624]

Thinking about wrapping everything I eat in a tortilla from now on.

[Uptown Schmuck @SchmuckOnAHorse]

Please say a prayer for the cup of coffee I dropped this morning.

[𝙶 𝚘 𝚕 𝚍 𝚒 𝚖 𝚘 𝚌 𝚔 𝚜 @goldimocks]

All this rain could’ve been snow. I could be living in an igloo. with my empire of penguins.

[tatyana ;) @tatbaee]

i love “u comin w me?” like duh

[introvert @livewithnoregrt]

i just want to lock in with myself and my goals this year.

[cunt eatswood @nova_Corpse]

I hope someone tells you they love you today

[Granite Man 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 @GraniteDhuine]

My favourite thing about people is their dogs.

[Tony P. @Tbone7219]

How many throat clears before you can savagely beat your coworker with an office chair?

[Saneer • @Saneeero]

idk who needs to hear this, but stay single until you're valued and appreciated..

[inspector ratchet @_hood_mona_lisa]

Online and ready to start some shit

[✦ eve ✦ @impossiblyeve]

“im in love with u”

hell yeah that’s whats up

[Titi Jess @TheMindOfJessie]

Wait Pickle Ball is an actual
Sport? I thought you guys were joking.

[Noor ✭ @Noorthevirgo]

i'm tired of pretending to be chill, i am insane.