P.W.Kimíri

Remember me as I was, not as you wished me to be | Glasshouser | Co-curator | Wa Ambui | All tweets are my own.

[P.W.Kimíri @PWKimiri]

If your aunties/uncles have not told you, the reason they don’t let some of you in on the deeper traditions is that you insist on bringing outsiders, not because “you can’t speak the language, you can only understand”. They value curiosity about your culture AND gatekeeping.

[P.W.Kimíri @PWKimiri]

Closing day, you gotta show off the new shoes at the end of the term. 🥳

[The Nairobi Times @TheNairobiTimez]

The funniest thing I’ve noted about the Ol Kalou elections is that most women came to vote while wearing the shoes that UDA gave them😭🤣🤣🤣

[P.W.Kimíri @PWKimiri]

Don’t mistake being at work and civic duty. Those are distinct.

[CATHY MUTUKU @cathy_mutuku]

Read something on TikTok😂😂😂😂 ukiwahi ona unasifiwa hivi na wamama wa murima run away they are about to clean you🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 without blinking.

[P.W.Kimíri @PWKimiri]

At the point in my career where I’m praying every morning before I start work like I used to pray before exams because every day is a test.

[P.W.Kimíri @PWKimiri]

Can we interrogate these numbers a bit after the hahas because to me it would follow that the large Latino population that also culturally loves football would be watching in Spanish? And then we add the dimension that the Spanish channels don’t have ads.

[internet hall of fame @InternetH0F]

Nearly half of U.S. World Cup viewers have watched their games in Spanish because its more "entertaining"

[COOLEE BRAVO @ItalianFiesta]

On life im over here hatin. Niggas got 3 nights of Jay,a championship and a mayor dat act like a superhero.

[P.W.Kimíri @PWKimiri]

Co-asking because why do we have summertides in June? We’re on the equator for heavens sake.

[☆J9☆ @shawn_notsean]

Saw someone say it's supposed to be summer and it's cold😭😭😭😭😭😭....like huh....who told you we have summer in Kenya....we are literally at the equator we only have two seasons😭wet&dry

[P.W.Kimíri @PWKimiri]

Disability win! Helpful for those with low mobility and low on time for domestic work. Not everyone finds cooking relaxing and you can always just add the spices you want.

[emily may @emilykmay]

more women say it has happened to them if you don't call it rape.

"has someone ever had sex with you, even when you said you didn't want to, and even asked them to stop?"

[P.W.Kimíri @PWKimiri]

Please ask follow up questions when someone says they are making a lot of money in a business or a job. Is that revenue? What's the actual number we are talking? Is it consistent? Another relative sucked into an overcrowded market only to make a 10th of their expected profit.

[P.W.Kimíri @PWKimiri]

Uber in Nairobi stays lying. It’s never been the time estimate it gives me when I hit “confirm”.

[Daniel Turner @DanielTurnerPTF]

Uber: car? It’s 3 minutes away

Me: click

Uber: did I say 3? I meant 11 minutes

Me: cancel

Uber: cancel? That’s $10 charge

Me: don’t cancel

Uber: yeah thought so. But now it’s 14 minutes, idiot

Been fun to watch Uber launch as awesome and become atrocious.

[P.W.Kimíri @PWKimiri]

I get this. And I used to refuse to call it “X” but I have found it useful to now call it by its new name because while Twitter was a cesspool, X is a hellhole. The distinction matters to me but do whatever that gets you through life whole.

[derek guy @dieworkwear]

I've never said "X" in real life. As a writer, I only use it to say "X, the platform formerly known as Twitter" because I get paid per word and this earns me enough money for an appetizer

[P.W.Kimíri @PWKimiri]

Interested in what it takes to be a stylist at this level. When do you clean this before she wears it again? Is there a laundry service waiting for you? Is there a service on the PJ? What happens when it is out of your sight? How many backup outfits do you line up?

[nah @_nahmt]

Zendaya saw the dress at the Paris fashion show and simply told Law Roach to take a jet to go get it on the same day AND HE SAID HE DID IT RIGHT AWAY BECAUSE SHE IS HIS SPECIAL GIRL, AND I DIE OF LOVE WITH THIS

[P.W.Kimíri @PWKimiri]

Every weekend, every holiday, every protest. They’ll embarrass you. Can’t go out for a late night hang in peace cause you don’t know if you’ll be able to access payment. You have money but you can look like the moocher pretty quick.

[Ciru Muriuki 🇰🇪🪬 @CiruMuriuki]

Is there an issue with Standard Chartered?? Heh these people can embarrass you surely @StanChartKE

[P.W.Kimíri @PWKimiri]

I guess the VAT refund I filled out at CPT in 2024 was for vibes. Asked me to confirm my bank details and then just 🤷🏾‍♀️

[P.W.Kimíri @PWKimiri]

Willie Kimani, Josephat Mwendwa, Joseph Muiruri

[National Police Service-Kenya @NPSOfficial_KE]

CLARIFICATION ON ALLEGATIONS OF ABDUCTIONS BY THE NATIONAL POLICE SERVICE

[P.W.Kimíri @PWKimiri]

Did it so inappropriately by already assuming that he and his siblings would be taking a piece. Found out the hard way when he looked up ownership (cause he didn’t believe). Dad is fine and thriving now and but the man alienated himself because there’s no coming back.

[P.W.Kimíri @PWKimiri]

If I speak. Let’s just say same happened with two men. 1. Was set to inherit from his aunt who helped his mum raise him. He went looking for his deadbeat but highly disrespected his aunt saying she usurped his father.

[WARÚHIÚ @kamauwaruhiu]

When I tell you something is wrong with millenials I know what am saying , a young man has been raised by his step father since he was 2 years. Fun fact Kikuyu language doesn't have a word for step father . Anyway his father has paid dowry for his mother and even birthed him into his clan .
Along the way this young man now In his 30s has been convinced that the reason he is not yet rich is that his birth father has not blessed him . In the process of finding his father he has been disinherited by his step father for disrespect.
After a long search he has found his father in kamiti prison where he is serving a life sentence for a crime we do not know . Now he is sending money to kamiti every month . I wish I was making this up .

[P.W.Kimíri @PWKimiri]

Second man: Rich step mother (same aunt) who made disproportionately more than his father but thought the wealth came from his dad. When the dad was sick and it looked like the end, the boy started to ‘hard conversations’ as to who was taking over what business.