Meet Dominic Kipchirchir son of Tinderet constituency, Nandi county, the land where even boda bodas need swimming lessons. Kipchirchir is a proud member of Kumi Bila Break Choir, where he sings like an angel who swallowed a trumpet. He’s the soloist who hits high notes that make cows stop chewing just to listen.
Last time the President visited Tinderet to launch a borehole that still coughs instead of producing water, he promised to tarmac 200 km of road. Our boy Kipchirchir was right there at the rally, chest out, veins visible, shouting “Tutam! Tutam! Ngumu ni Mbwexee!” like he was the Minister for Transport himself.
Fast-forward six months later, the road has upgraded itself from bad to biblically terrible. The kind of road where even Google Maps says “Proceed at your own risk.” Now our beloved soloist is stuck in mud with his kifikifi halfway swallowed like it’s being baptized by the spirit of neglect.
From afar, he looks like a depressed alligator rehearsing for a National Geographic documentary. He was transporting charcoal to the market, hoping to make ends meet, but by the look of things, that was truly the end of his meat.
Meanwhile back at home, Mrs Kipchirchir is pacing up and down, thinking her husband is in some lodging at Tinderet Urban hotel, supplying electricity to a yellow yellow damsel from Chemelil. She has already sent him 14 missed calls and one voice note that starts with, “Kipchirchir, if you don’t love me just say,, Kaigaasí”
When he finally drags his muddy self home, he’ll wipe his hands, join his fellow tribal leaders in accusing Kikuyus of hoarding developments, tarmac, and transformers,, the holy trinity of civilization. They nowadays call it Kikuyu Privileges.
While MPs from Mt. Kenya are busy using their CDF to build schools, dispensaries, and bridges, our Tinderet leaders are somewhere in Timber XO eating development funds eat kisumoo with yellow yellow damsels, irrigating their throats with imported whiskey while measuring babes diameter and calling it capacity building.
As for Kipchirchir, he’s currently waiting for kijana ya nyumbani & his musikiti PA to tour the area again so that he can be directed on how to deal with “wale wakapila” gearing up to the next general elections. For now, he's forced to Always carry a rope, not for pulling the bike, but for tying his hope. Awuoro!!
This was not an interview.
This was a bloodbath.
It's painful to watch.
Kimani Ichungwa got totally obliterated here on the international stage by Mehdi.
Shiet😂😂😂😂😂
President Ruto got booed in Isiolo and he ordered the police to do a swoop targeting innocent young people. Ruto is such an insecure human being. Kahongo is supposedly the commander-in-chief but he behaves like a playground bully. Must Go will Go! #Kahongo
Today marks the International Holocast Memorial Day and the liberation of the Nazi concentration camp Over 6 million Jews had lost their lives in the Nazi atrocities against them /TKAN