Bufort

please sign my petition to ban caraway seeds from everything bagels

[Bufort @quackenfish]

*Cleaning the basement*
Wife: We will make a pile to keep, one to donate, and one to throw out.
9 YO: And a pile of things to burn.

[Bufort @quackenfish]

If the prices stay like this then maybe people will stop hoarding…

[Drew (some assembly required) @dmc1138]

What a sad day for Larry, his brother Darryl, and his other brother Darryl.

[Bufort @quackenfish]

@BourbEnthusiasm Two things:

1- I didn’t know manufacturers had an MSRP for each state, and

2- Avoid this store

[Bufort @quackenfish]

“Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves? Why don't you dig how beautiful it is out here? Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?”

[Bufort @quackenfish]

@BourbEnthusiasm Blanston Ints? Must be new.

[Bufort @quackenfish]

The wife: “You’re smart but I didn’t think you could spell quinoa.”

I spelled it correctly

I challenged her to take the SAT with me to see who does better but she quickly backed down

She’s way smarter than I am, by the way…

[Bufort @quackenfish]

@AP Absolute garbage reporting here.

Terrible. The fact that they are Boeing planes has nothing to do with the incident. This could happen to any airplane REGARDLESS of the manufacturer

Pure clickbait

[Lake Canada 🇨🇦 @LakeSuperior]

Anyone else get weird DMs on this site?

Anyway, I hope she responds.

[Bufort @quackenfish]

@BourbEnthusiasm @NewRiff I thought everything they did was BIB

[Bufort @quackenfish]

@TaylorCope1982 @BourbEnthusiasm @BernieLubbers Pretty sure most of @NewRiff is bottled in bond

[Bufort @quackenfish]

@Bogs4NY Lotta people concerned that flooding is at the “new” terminals. Maybe provide a picture, or a map, showing that this is at the Marine Air Terminal on the other side of the airport away from the recently updated terminals? And how are the “new” terminals??

[Mike Lipinski | @SportsTalkPHL @themikelipinski]

Bryce Harper was called out on this swing by Angel Hernandez. Absolutely pathetic.

#MLB #Phillies #RingTheBell

[Uncle Duke @UncleDuke1969]

Bravo, anonymous hero.

[Uncle Duke @UncleDuke1969]

"You called about a break-in?"
"I did."
"Anything stolen?"
"Just some food."
"Anything else?"
"She messed up the furniture."
"She?"
"Blonde girl. Jumped out the window."

[Bufort @quackenfish]

The younger teenager asks me if I can break a 100 so he can pay me his part of the bet

I can’t. And I haven’t had a 100 bill in my wallet in a few years, yet this kid has several of them.

[Bufort @quackenfish]

The teenage boys lose a brand new baseball in the front bushes

Them: “We looked for it for 20 minutes…it can’t be found.”

Me: “I bet you $10 I can find it in 5 minutes.”

2 minutes later I have found the ball (as well as 2 other wiffle balls) and am $10 richer.

#fatherhood

[Bufort @quackenfish]

Oh no.

It’s happening again.

I sure hope @RBird101 muzzles @TaylorCope1982

[Taylor Cope @TaylorCope1982]

TFW you figure out that @WildTurkey Rare Breed is $55, available everywhere, and beats the pants off of most allocated bottles: