✨witch bitch✨

I don't care if you're offended

[✨witch bitch✨ @queencanabliss]

@DairyQueen This reply was not nearly as fun as I had hoped

[✨witch bitch✨ @queencanabliss]

@DairyQueen I need your immediate attention.

I’ve ordered SEVERAL blizzards from @DoorDash, and there is NO way to verify whether the blizzard was turned upside down.

The contract of The Blizzard stipulates that it must be turned upside down before I eat it, or I get a free one

[✨witch bitch✨ @queencanabliss]

@chanelwestcoast I would love for you to start a podcast

[✨witch bitch✨ @queencanabliss]

Exciting news: went to the gyno and asking about birth control. Asked if she would tie my tubes and she said she absolutely would if that’s what I was SURE that I wanted (I am). So now I just have to see if that is something my health insurance would cover

[✨witch bitch✨ @queencanabliss]

Tbh I’d like to give up trying to understand the 500 different policies my work has about coronavirus

[✨witch bitch✨ @queencanabliss]

I think I’m going crazy officially

[✨witch bitch✨ @queencanabliss]

@jaredpolis Can we also get a permanent ban on all “reply all” threads, where everyone says “thanks for the update!”

[✨witch bitch✨ @queencanabliss]

I’m still thinking about how a couple weeks ago I was playing #CardsAgainstHumanity and the black card was “(BLANK): kid tested, mother approved”. I played the white card “an Oedipus complex” and DIDN’T win that round. It’s a fuckin travesty, man

[✨witch bitch✨ @queencanabliss]

@beccabeean So I just updated Twitter and got this as a fresh notification and didn’t realize I never replied. I’m so sorry. I meant never stop making moments with cats, of course 😻

[✨witch bitch✨ @queencanabliss]

I stole this but I love it

[✨witch bitch✨ @queencanabliss]

Have I talked about the time I bought a pair of #IvankaTrump heels second hand simply because I think that she would absolutely hate for her shoes to be bought used for $15

[✨witch bitch✨ @queencanabliss]

I’m S H O O K #chipotle #chipotlerewards

[✨witch bitch✨ @queencanabliss]

@ChipotleTweets Am I too late chipotle?! I love you!!!

[✨witch bitch✨ @queencanabliss]

I’m at @Raising_Canes and “the middle” is playing and I can hear all the workers jammin out lmao

[✨witch bitch✨ @queencanabliss]

The real question is when is @Starbucks gonna start brewing CBD coffee?

[✨witch bitch✨ @queencanabliss]

@beccabeean Pls don’t

[✨witch bitch✨ @queencanabliss]

The best part about @nicolebyer is that I’ve been seeing her (or hearing her) in literally EVERYTHING the last couple of months

[✨witch bitch✨ @queencanabliss]

@beccabeean Throat coat and no talking for two days?

[✨witch bitch✨ @queencanabliss]

My father was surprised to learn that I smoke weed while he was visiting me at my job...........in a weed store......

[✨witch bitch✨ @queencanabliss]

Finished reading The Golden Compass and so I watched the movie last night and man.........man oh man...... it was a HACK JOB