My personal take on RSD: we're sensitive to rejection, our brain tries to protect us from future emotional pain by anticipating potential rejection to avoid it... But ends up making it worse by struggling with the perception of rejection as much as actual rejection.
ADHD is so different internally vs. externally. You'll spend 3 hours trying to convince yourself to cook lunch, feeling like shit and getting anxious because you can't just stand up and do it, and people just see you sprawled on the couch scrolling through your phone.
I just really need to acknowledge right now that some parts of ADHD are torturous.
I’ve had the same one bit of a song stuck in my head on a loop literally 100% of my waking hours for the last 2 weeks and it’s driving me insane. Not even a joke. 😭
Something people w/o ADHD don’t seem to understand: it’s not just the tasks we don’t like that we struggle with. Today, I really wanted to play guitar and video games but I got stuck unable to get started for 4 hours. I couldn’t do my HOBBIES because I couldn’t find the start.
That thing, where you have been living in a toxic environment, being gaslit and emotionally abused, for so long that you are no longer capable of recognising that you are not the problem.
That's what it's like being an undiagnosed neurodivergent in a neurotypical society.