i am so tired of the normalization of men's weaponized incompetence. why does your wife need to lay out where everything is in the kitchen. you live there too. WHY DONT YOU KNOW WHAT IS IN YOUR OWN HOUSE.
People will literally find anything to blame for their difficulties w/ timeliness AND PUT THE ONUS ON OTHERS TO MANAGE THEM??? before taking accountability and admitting that maybe their inability to learn a skill makes them unreliable.
sorry you’ll never convince me that the “lateness is a moral failing” isn’t rooted in colonization and capitalism, it’s CONTROL!!! and I get we live in a society blah blah blah but if it’s ur friends you know is always late tell them an earlier time or whatever but acting like it’s a moral failing is so puritanical and silly sometimes you just got to accept people as they are
@cowgirl_bebop@midaeros Yeah scrolling through the replies made me go “ooooooh she’s one of those” and immediately handwaved her fuckass take because what the hell
y’all have no respect for the ppl who make your life easier. the person making your morning coffee deserves a livable wage. the person stocking the groceries you buy deserves a livable wage. the person cleaning the restrooms in the office you work at deserves a livable wage.
@nomanautomata I think what people who disagree with this are missing is the dialogue after the “why.” It’s not being shamed, it’s finding the deeper “why” and *addressing it.* ADHD is disabling, but we’re not gonna learn to manage it if we act like we’re just helpless to our own behaviors.
the amount of comments under this that are "that's not how ADHD works" and like,...yes it is. yes, obvi ADHD puts a lot of mundane things on hard mode but like...you still have a choice in how you deal with that. you don't have to be a helpless victim to your symptoms.
The therapist who cured the worst of my ADHD symptoms repeatedly asked me questions like "why did YOU choose to procrastinate" and say things like "as an adult you're expected to do things"
@bitchbi45 Whoa no no I’m not shitting on you for that whatsoever. Literally just saying it sucks to have to jump through hoops just to have someone show up when they said they would.
My bad if that came off poorly, im rly glad you guys had a good time.
@midaeros yeah it's def a case of "two things can be true at the same time". friend's response sucked, and OP could have considered other ways to connect & display empathy.
@midaeros oh lordy. and OP is saying this is somehow abt adult women's relationships? like....can't u start with "what would be supportive to you during this time?" i've got other thoughts i won't put on a public forum lol
my gf's ADHD is way way worse than mine but after we talked abt how meaningful timeliness is to me, she immediately began putting in effort to respect that. it's literally just a skill. nothing abt moral value.
thanks for coming to my TED talk.
chronic lateness isn't a moral failing AND it sends a message abt your respect towards the other person/their time. like, sure if this is a completely immovable trait of yours, you've also got to accept it impacts how reliable you come across.
I'm so tired of lateness being viewed as a moral failing. I've been shamed for it my whole life because it's framed as "disrespect" (and no, it hasn't helped me be more punctual) and if I lost out on a major life opportunity because of it I don't think I could have ever recovered
like, as a professional, if a client is constantly late, i can't provide the quality care they deserve AND it comes across as a lack of commitment to their own treatment. and if i was constantly late??? my clients would drop me in a HEARTBEAT.