rachel.

if you’ve found this page via google... it’s satire, babe!

[rachel. @rachelpair]

My biggest celebrity doppelgänger is everyone’s “best friend from back home, Alex”

[🪩🎲🍒 @expired_grl]

maybe your cat is meowing bc it wants a cigarette

[Beautiful Normal Woman @SillyBWoman]

Everything I say is a joke Unless you agree And in that case Speak to me privately I have even crazier ideas

[katie ❤️‍🔥 @Kaaaaatie_x]

i genuinely feel like this is one of the most beautiful moments of humanity i’ll ever witness in my life

[K, MBA @urfavSpecialK]

Shave your big toe girl we’re going to Miami

[Chris @citehchris]

you are the object of my affection big dawg

[schizzy @crybabybuick]

The dmv be like you forgot the Magna Carta

[meredith 🍉 @dietz_meredith]

“i’m moving in silence” couldn’t be me im going clomp clomp clomp fe fi fo fum

[wiLL @willfulchaos]

time for thanksgiving dinner with the family

[dinosaur @dinosaurs1969]

it's called a hat trick

[alyssa ✿ @djarinspascal]

i feel like a victorian man seeing a woman’s ankle for the first time

[sam parker @samprkr]

Grammys absolutely tearing it up while the government collapses… life IS a cabaret I fear

[matt bernstein @mattxiv]

watching all of them squirm in their seats is very satisfying. this was extremely badass and immaculately delivered

[rachel. @rachelpair]

My boyfriend (we started dating in June) followed my back on Instagram last night 🫶🏻 Riding that high!!!!

[BOOP @Pettyyyboop]

Imagine hating me and I’m over here picking up objects with my toes.

[† @mourninglambs]

You deserve a sweeter and more gentle tomorrow

[rachel. @rachelpair]

Unmarried sibling during the holidays

[N @dearvotion]

type of vibe i’m on