Paul

To take one's work seriously is imperative, and to take one's self seriously is disastrous.

[Paul @ragtop429]

When a lady talks dirty during a session, it's incredibly sexy. When I try to talk dirty during a session, it's... hilarious

[Paul @ragtop429]

@UHQ_TWEETS That's my stepmom.

[Paul @ragtop429]

If I were a beautiful woman, my P Star name would have been

[Paul @ragtop429]

The perfect month for people with OCD

[Today Years Old @todayyearsold]

Because February 2026 begins on a Sunday in a non-leap year, the entire month fits perfectly into 4 clean weeks. No extra row.

The next time this will happen is 2037.

[Paul @ragtop429]

@datingbyblaine You would think that a professional matchmaker would check these things before taking anybody on as a client.

[Paul @ragtop429]

Years from now, when I'm having an appointment to celebrate my 87th birthday, when she asks me how much longer I'll keep doing this

[Paul @ragtop429]

"Ozzy's a prophet, man!"

-some burnout I knew back in HS, who had a speaking voice that always reminded me of Tommy Chong

[Tony Iommi @tonyiommi]

I just can’t believe it! My dear dear friend Ozzy has passed away only weeks after our show at Villa Park. 
It’s just such heartbreaking news that I can’t really find the words, there won’t ever be another like him. Geezer, Bill and myself have lost our brother.
My thoughts go out to Sharon and all the Osbourne family. Rest in peace Oz. Tony

[Paul @ragtop429]

The best way to get turned down for a 1hr appointment

[Paul @ragtop429]

Possibly the first marriage proposal to ever be followed up with chants of E-A-G-L-E-S

[Paul @ragtop429]

Oh, those Amish & their filthy senses of humor!!!

[Paul @ragtop429]

@MayaRosexx Why is there a painting of Emilio Estavez on the wall?

[Paul @ragtop429]

@MayaRosexx We need more p*orn where she seduces the CPA while he's trying to do her taxes

[Paul @ragtop429]

@MsVickivayne Amateurs.
https://t.co/sQOuZIfaFu

[Paul @ragtop429]

My sex life lately

[Paul @ragtop429]

@LauraCohenSolo I recently had a plumber look at my water heater, and he tried to sell me a new one- even though mine was still under warranty.

Ultimately, it turned out that the water heater was fine, and there was a blockage in the incoming gas line, which the gas company had to fix.

[Paul @ragtop429]

I can't laugh, because that's what I look like on the dancefloor

[Fascinating @fasc1nate]

Shoji Tomihisa competes at 102 years old.

[Paul @ragtop429]

I think I've been misreading women my entire life

[Paul @ragtop429]

@LauraCohenSolo He should just put up a sign like the one at the convenience store in "Clerks"

[Paul @ragtop429]

@BettieBrunetti (scratches head trying to think of a humorous yet polite way to express jealousy)