Ron Seacrest

I am in harm's way

[Ron Seacrest @RahnSeacrest]

yo I fuck with the chinese heavy

[Cameron Bradford @camerobradford]

I'm pretending to be meek until we all inherit the earth and then I will reveal my true leonine nature

[April Clark @autogynefiles]

It’s covering a tattoo of a trademarked logo that can’t be shown on television

[Brooks Otterlake @i_zzzzzz]

Son I have some bad news about your friend E.T. - he’s mad chopped. He ugly

[hex 🏒 @hexminivan]

A round of backshots for the table, please

[Ron Seacrest @RahnSeacrest]

i put my laptop at the foot of my bed and found that it's metallic coolness on my feet did not please me, not at all

[Ryan Grim @ryangrim]

My favorite part of Christianity, even though I’m not really a believer, is the way it encourages us to see that we are all God’s children, to see ourselves when we see others, and to do unto them as we would have done to us. Recognizing our shared humanity. This is apparently a radical idea today, but if so we need more radicals like MTG. Very well said:

[Ron Seacrest @RahnSeacrest]

WTF is wrong with them? they just finished their glass of wine rather abruptly !

[jake rhodes @jakebrodes]

Americans Rebelling: i refuse to eat YOUR burger, sir.

[jake rhodes @jakebrodes]

Hallucinated ghosts made from the last bit of water in an aquifer: don’t you miss the worst decade that ever happened?

[Ron Seacrest @RahnSeacrest]

why can't conservatives just be normal and say it just sucks?

[Fat Kid Deals @FatKidDeals]

Cracker Barrel has rebranded for the first time since 1977

[Ron Seacrest @RahnSeacrest]

a little toothpaste is good for you. freshens the esophagus to boot

[Ron Seacrest @RahnSeacrest]

damn. am really i still trying to get indie music famous just in time for the chinese century?

[Ron Seacrest @RahnSeacrest]

actually i never ever have to be bored ever again

[Larry Fitzmaurice @lfitzmaurice]

(George Costanza voice) This was supposed to be the summer I turned pretty

[Thomas White @len0killer]

(Ed Sheeran, Thinking Out Loud) When you eat too fast and it goes in your lungs

[Ron Seacrest @RahnSeacrest]

it is genuinely shocking to me that Destiny has a teenaged son

[Ron Seacrest @RahnSeacrest]

so what if I'm unabashedly evil sometimes? im only doingit when no one's even looking