i am a notoriously terrible and distant friend but i have accepted that maybe that is my role for now. i think if i smell more smells and watch more movies and live more i can become an average friend. but it’s okay either way. i am experiencing things. i am an experience.
do you know how utterly soul-destroying it is to see old pieces of text written by you with the full understanding that you will never be able to write that way again. you simply cannot string sentences together in the same manner. your lexicon has shrunk. your brain is fried