Cynthia

tiktok-er. writer. trauma/abuse advocate. warrior. #writingcommunity #mentalhealth #jadedlittlestar #narcabuseawareness

[Cynthia @rainbowwrites22]

. @danjlevy you created a character that i have never related to more in my life.i like the wine,not the label.i’m damaged goods&that’s why i don’t trust people.i don’t really have friends&i am very left of center.just like david. thank you for that.people like us are never scene

[Cynthia @rainbowwrites22]

after months of waiting, tonight i’m facilitating my first trauma/abuse women’s support group! right now it’s in person only, but hoping to expand that at some point. #narcabuse #narcabuserecovery #traumasupport #narcabuseawareness #jadedlittlestar

[Cynthia @rainbowwrites22]

who can help me with a memoir that’s only factionalized by all names have been changed? i just p/u nearly 1k pgs of my #mentalhealth records. i want them used in my memoir. #WritingCommunity help?? 🤓🥺

[Cynthia @rainbowwrites22]

hi.
hello.
how are you?
🙋🏻‍♀️👋🏼🤍🧿
🤷🏻‍♀️ i be jammin
over on #tiktok
i do a lot about #surviving
#covertnarcissism sometimes
i’m funny. 🙃 sometimes
i #lipsync sometimes i
do #photomontages #photography
#narctok #dogoodbegood #doyou #mentalhealth #bpd https://t.co/UaaOeYk3aE

[Cynthia @rainbowwrites22]

#alcoholismhurtseveryone #addiction #narcissisticabuse #codependency #traumabond #alanon #naranon #defeat #divorce #devastated #alcoholismisadisease #addictionisadiasease #fuckaddiction #fuckalcoholism #lonely #heartbreak

how do i do this when my heart is screaming not to?

[Cynthia @rainbowwrites22]

my hands & breath are shaky.i keep crying.a force greater than me is moving me to start this.for some reason i know it’s done.he’s not able to change or stop blaming it all on me.& that’s the flipped truth.he knows it.he’s still dodging accountability.even while he’s in treatment

[Cynthia @rainbowwrites22]

my hands & breath are shaky.i keep crying.a force greater than me is moving me to start this.for some reason i know it’s done.he’s not able to change or stop blaming it all on me.& that’s the flipped truth.he knows it.he’s still dodging accountability.even while he’s in treatment

[Cynthia @rainbowwrites22]

i stare at all of the papers&forms i printed yesterday at the courthouse. the forms for dissolution of marriage/divorce.& it’s a big stack.&i am sad&angry&humiliated&defeated.i should not be sad to let go of my abuser.but healing is messy.&i really believed he was my best friend.

[Cynthia @rainbowwrites22]

pretty, pretty finger art done today. and i’m just so in love; the artist that did this for me... his work is basically flawless.

lotus & hamsa (heart hamsa specifically)

to bring peace & to protect against ill intentions.
#microtattoo #hamsatattoo #lotustattoo #fingertattoo

[Cynthia @rainbowwrites22]

well alright alright alright.

i’ve been lingering around this twitter joint for a whole year now. i keep wanting to get super active again on here & then i get overwhelmed for whatever whacked out reason & don’t. i miss doing micro poetry.

[Cynthia @rainbowwrites22]

i stare at all of the papers&forms i printed yesterday at the courthouse. the forms for dissolution of marriage/divorce.& it’s a big stack.&i am sad&angry&humiliated&defeated.i should not be sad to let go of my abuser.but healing is messy.&i really believed he was my best friend.

[Cynthia @rainbowwrites22]

https://t.co/P46hrZtxm7

[Cynthia @rainbowwrites22]

#narcissisticabuse #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissismawareness

and.
#schittscreek #davidrose #disgruntledpelican https://t.co/pj9fxilIEx

[Cynthia @rainbowwrites22]

yep.
yes.

https://t.co/v9ZIkOb3s8

[Cynthia @rainbowwrites22]

best broken heart quote i have ever seen.

[Cynthia @rainbowwrites22]

here’s my prediction: my (ex-ish) husband moves to the old town we lived in, purposely get involved w/the chic that was obsessed with him back then that he immediately put back on his fb friends list, they have at least one baby, & live happily ever after. and me? stays alone.

[Cynthia @rainbowwrites22]

also. i don’t trust people who use snapchat on the lowdown. fuck that and fuck them.

[Cynthia @rainbowwrites22]

#TikTok https://t.co/R8gGjmbqiu

this right here is my biggest fucking problem right now. except my ex isn’t going to just reach out to me. not anymore. prior to yesterday he was constantly reaching out, several times a day. and now? nada. #narcissism

[Cynthia @rainbowwrites22]

deactivated fb and deleted messenger off my phone. too much emotional shit going on and dealing with my (soon to be ex) husband’s hate. he claims no hatred, but i read his messages loud and clear. to sum it up, i and devastated and have been betrayed.

[Cynthia @rainbowwrites22]

just a broken-hearted girl. 💔

i never thought it would be such a painstaking thing to let go of exactly what you know you need to let go.

[Cynthia @rainbowwrites22]

also. to be completely candid, the biggest reason i stopped production on publishing my book was bc i was trying to protect my husband, bc i know i left out A LOT, but still felt it was too much. no i wish i could amend it to really tell the truth.

[Cynthia @rainbowwrites22]

@RileyNovaHarper samesies. it’s just not fuckin worth it.

[Cynthia @rainbowwrites22]

cool. so basically he just led me on & strung me along for 4 years?

i am done with romantic relationships. i am choosing to remain alone for the rest of this lifetime. bc i never, EVER want to feel this way again. i don’t understand what i have done in my life to deserve this.

[Cynthia @rainbowwrites22]

@PulleyCd i do actually love the idea that i’d be seen again someday. but even so, i will never be able to trust me or whomever bc almost every time i end up hurting over some bullshit. i guess i’d rather be alone for the rest of my life.

thank you for being supportive, tho. ♥️