pancakes

Local hot mess mom. Lover of shitty humor, 90's comedies, and redundancy.

[pancakes @raisingweirdos]

The vibe I’m going for tonight is Sleepy Seductress. Not my husband’s favorite, but effective nonetheless.

[pancakes @raisingweirdos]

What do I want for Mother’s Day?

Not to have plan what everyone should do to be nice to me.

[pancakes @raisingweirdos]

A lot of my mental cycle around fitness this year has been, “Calisthenics looks like a cool way to get strong, I wanna try beginner stuff. Wait, how many push ups do I gotta start with?? Oh fuck that.” Rinse and repeat every couple weeks.

[pancakes @raisingweirdos]

@LoveMyScionFRS I fucking love Soundgarden. Cueing this song up now. It’s been a grip since I listened to it.

[pancakes @raisingweirdos]

I’m sure my husband disagrees, but I think a bird loose in the house is a delightful bit of chaos. Just what I needed today, in fact.

[pancakes @raisingweirdos]

Is this worse than the dreams where I’m trying and failing desperately to find a way to fall asleep?

[pancakes @raisingweirdos]

Struck myself dumb having an imaginary conversation to prep with who I’m going to talk to and my imagined companion tells me I’m over thinking it.

[pancakes @raisingweirdos]

Albert Epstein and the Theory of Age Relativity

[pancakes @raisingweirdos]

Follow me for more obscure biblical references.

[pancakes @raisingweirdos]

My puppy found and tore apart a foam dinosaur toy, and I kept finding pieces everywhere.
“More?!” I exclaimed. “It’s like the book of Judges in here!”

[pancakes @raisingweirdos]

No, YOU’RE burdened by the inevitability of future grief.

[pancakes @raisingweirdos]

Every time I see someone announce they’ve become a life coach, they’re always someone whose last couple years indicate they’re in no position to give advice.

[pancakes @raisingweirdos]

Public service campaign to teach New Englanders to eat without scraping their teeth on the silverware.

[pancakes @raisingweirdos]

The best type of reluctant hero is the one who is like, “I just wanna be normal!” And a mere second glance reveals this delusional fool has not only never been normal, but they couldn't be normal if their life depended on it.

[pancakes @raisingweirdos]

So many people are like “give us more platonic, true friendly love in stories! We don’t need romance for a story to have fulfilling love!”
And I’m over here like, if nobody falls in love in this book then you’re wasting my fucking time.

[pancakes @raisingweirdos]

I know my self-perception is a little off because I believe a wild animal would not attack me due to my chill vibes while simultaneously believing I could win a street fight due to pent up rage.

[pancakes @raisingweirdos]

I told the 2nd librarian that I hadn’t finished my current book bc I keep stopping when the main character stresses me out and she was confused. Like, I’m attached to this person and I’m supposed to not care when they put themselves in danger just bc they’re fictional?? Heartless

[pancakes @raisingweirdos]

I’ve never been tested for autism, but this is the second time a librarian of all people has been baffled by reading process.

[pancakes @raisingweirdos]

Like, um, what do you mean you can’t read new books unless you’ve set aside time and energy to invest in new characters and worlds? And then you don’t read several books in a few days bc you can’t move on without closure?

[Slightly Venomous Kirk @jamusp]

The tree branch... ☠️☠️