I hate when people vague post about committing, and lead us through their journey of death just to say they “survived” 4hs later. I feel as if I’ve been stripped of an orgasm.
Frank, stop.
What the hell was that? You looked at a girl who was already clearly insecure, noticed something about her makeup that looked unfamiliar to you, and your first instinct was to make her feel smaller. That isn’t funny. That isn’t tough. And it sure as hell isn’t something to be proud of.
You of all people should know what it feels like to be judged by somebody who thinks they have the right to decide whether you’re worth respecting.
You’ve spent your life making messes, getting yourself into situations you can’t handle, burning bridges, and expecting everyone around you to tolerate it because you’re Frank Gallagher. You’ve been broke, drunk, abandoned, embarrassed, humiliated, and treated like you weren’t worth anybody’s time. You’ve had people look at you and see nothing but a screwup.
So why, after everything you’ve experienced, would you turn around and do the exact same thing to someone else?
That girl didn’t need your approval, but she damn sure didn’t deserve your cruelty.
Maybe her makeup looked unusual to you. So what? You don’t have to understand someone’s style to leave them alone. You don’t have to think somebody is beautiful to treat them like a human being. And when you can plainly see that somebody is insecure, that’s exactly when you should know better than to kick them while they’re already down.
You’ve spent years demanding compassion from people while giving precious little of it yourself. You want people to overlook your mistakes. You want forgiveness when you screw up. You want somebody to see past the drinking, the schemes, the selfishness, and the disaster you make of nearly everything and still believe there’s something worth caring about underneath it.
Then extend that same courtesy to somebody else.
Because here’s the thing, Frank: being nasty doesn’t make you powerful. It makes you predictable.
Anybody can point at somebody who’s vulnerable and make them feel worse. It takes no courage. A genuinely decent person can notice somebody’s insecurity and choose not to exploit it. A decent person can say, “Hey, maybe that’s not my taste,” and keep walking. Better yet, they can recognize that the person standing in front of them is probably already fighting battles they know nothing about.
You know what it’s like to have a miserable life. You know what it’s like to feel unwanted. You know what it’s like to be the person everyone rolls their eyes at. You know what it’s like when people decide they’ve already figured you out.
So maybe, just this once, use that experience for something other than getting sympathy.
Use it to have some empathy.
And don’t give me that Frank Gallagher look like you’re above all of this. You’re not. You’re a man who has been given a million opportunities to become a better person and has spent most of them finding creative ways to become worse.
But that doesn’t mean you’re incapable of being decent.
In fact, that’s exactly why I’m telling you to do better.
If you see that girl again, you don’t need to make some grand speech. You don’t need to patronize her. You don’t need to pretend you’re suddenly a saint. Just be kind. Tell her she looks nice. If she seems nervous, don’t make it worse. If she worries that her makeup looks strange, reassure her instead of laughing.
And if you’ve already hurt her feelings, apologize.
A real apology, Frank. Not one of your “I’m sorry you felt that way” excuses. Not a joke disguised as an apology. Not something you say because you want something from her.
Just: “I’m sorry. That was rude, and you didn’t deserve it.”
Then mean it.
Because underneath all that Gallagher chaos, there is still a human being in there. And every once in a while, you need to let that human being win.
So wipe that smug look off your face, put the sarcasm away for five minutes, and be sweet to the girl.
Not because she owes you anything.
Because she deserves it.
And frankly, Frank, you could stand to remember that being kind costs you nothing.