My bonus structure is based on the tickets I closed.
Yesterday a coworker's keyboard stopped working.
He filed a ticket.
Instead of replacing it, I stole the keyboard from the receptionist's desk and gave it to him.
Now the receptionist filed another ticket: "My keyboard is missing."
The more tickets I close, the bigger my bonus.
Unplugging my manager's printer next.
Awesome & wholesome:
Slashdotters were dunking on @stevewoz for selling his Apple stock… then he showed up in the comments with the most grounded reply.
Gave away his Apple wealth, funds museums, pays his taxes, and measures life by joy: “Happiness is Smiles minus Frowns.”