Raj

Another developer

[Raj @rajntech]

@delhivery I booked parcel, it was supposed to be delivered on 10th but still it is not delivered. No option to connect with customer care, tried using mobile app option but nothing is working out. Is there way to know why it is delayed??awb number 2827791145190

[Raj @rajntech]

@Airtel_Presence i have replied on dm, can you raise complaint for me please

[Raj @rajntech]

@airtelindia is there a way to reach Customer care? All i am getting is automated option but no human, why? How do i lodge complain???

[Raj @rajntech]

@Airtel_Presence I am trying to raise issue for broadband but all i am getting is option to select number. same on app. No option to raise complaint

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

Update from Microsoft.

Teams is down.

Messages are delayed.

Some aren't arriving at all.

We're investigating.

Investigating means the AI is investigating.

The AI that wrote the code.

That broke the code.

That is now debugging the code.

It's a closed loop.

Very efficient.

A user asked why their message didn't send.

I said "we're observing recovery in our telemetry."

They asked what that means.

I don't know what that means.

But the dashboard is green now.

Green means fixed.

Fixed means we changed the threshold for green.

The messages are still delayed.

But the dashboard doesn't know that.

Dashboards don't use Teams.

Someone on the infrastructure team tried to escalate.

Via Teams.

The escalation is still pending.

Somewhere in the queue.

With everyone else's messages.

The irony wasn't lost on them.

But the message was.

We have a backup communication channel.

It's email.

Email is also having issues.

Unrelated, obviously.

The root cause is under analysis.

Analysis means we asked the AI.

The AI said "no issues detected."

The AI wrote the detection system.

It detects what it wants to detect.

Very self-aware.

Not in the good way.

Last quarter I said 30% of our code is AI-written.

Teams is closer to 45%.

We were proud of that.

Past tense.

The AI optimized the message queue.

It optimized it to zero.

Zero messages. Zero latency.

Technically correct.

The best kind of correct.

Enterprise customers are asking for an RCA.

RCA means Root Cause Analysis.

The root cause is velocity.

We shipped faster than we understood.

Understanding isn't in the OKRs.

Shipping is.

We shipped.

Someone asked when Teams will be fixed.

I said "we're continuing our analysis."

Continuing means we started.

Analysis means looking.

Looking means hoping it fixes itself.

It usually does.

If you refresh enough.

Refresh is the user's responsibility.

We provide the experience.

They provide the resilience.

That's partnership.

The outage started at 2:30 PM ET.

Right before the holidays.

Millions of workers couldn't message their teams.

Some called it a disaster.

I called it "an unplanned wellness moment."

Productivity is a spectrum.

We're exploring the lower end.

The AI has proposed a fix.

The fix requires a deployment.

The deployment system uses Teams for notifications.

The notifications are delayed.

We're in a loop.

The loop is also AI-designed.

Very elegant.

From a certain angle.

Satya asked for a status update.

I sent it via Teams.

He hasn't responded.

I assume he's thinking about it.

The stock is up 2% today.

Outages don't move markets.

Narratives do.

The narrative is "AI efficiency."

The reality is "Teams is down."

But reality isn't in the earnings call.

The narrative is.

We're committed to reliability.

Reliability means it worked yesterday.

Yesterday is our SLA.

Thank you for your patience.

Patience means you have no choice.

We're in your enterprise agreement.

For three more years.

The circle of innovation continues.

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

Last quarter I announced a milestone.

30% of our code is now written by AI.

I called it "engineering velocity."

The board loved that phrase.

They didn't ask what the code does.

Neither did we.

It compiles. Usually.

That's the metric.

Someone asked about testing.

I said "AI-assisted quality assurance."

That means the AI writes the tests too.

For the code it wrote.

It finds no issues.

Very efficient.

This week we admitted Windows 11 core features are broken.

Audio doesn't work.

Explorer crashes.

Updates fail to install.

Users asked why.

I said "we're investigating."

Investigating means reading the code.

The code the AI wrote.

That no human understands.

Because understanding isn't scalable.

Our CTO says 95% of code will be AI-generated by 2030.

I believe him.

I have to.

We fired the people who would check.

They were "non-essential headcount."

Essential means writes code.

AI writes code.

Humans are overhead.

Overhead gets optimized.

We optimized 10,000 engineers last year.

This year the bugs arrived.

Unrelated, obviously.

The engineers we kept are debugging AI output.

They don't understand it either.

But they're "cross-functional."

Cross-functional means they do everything.

Everything means nothing well.

A user asked why their audio disappeared after an update.

I said "install updated drivers."

They asked why the update broke the drivers.

I said "report it via Feedback Hub."

They asked what happens to feedback.

I said "it helps us prioritize."

Prioritize means add to backlog.

Backlog means never.

But politely.

Someone on Hacker News called this "a privacy and consent disaster."

I called it "an evolving user experience."

Same thing. Different framing.

We released a fix.

The fix broke something else.

The something else was also written by AI.

The fix was also written by AI.

They're collaborating now.

I call it "autonomous iteration."

The autonomous iteration has created 47 new bugs.

Each bug spawns a fix.

Each fix spawns two bugs.

Exponential growth.

Just like our stock price.

Unrelated, obviously.

Satya told Mark we're at 30%.

Mark said he didn't know Meta's number.

Sundar said Google is also at 30%.

None of us know what the code does.

But we know the percentage.

Percentage is a metric.

Metrics go in earnings calls.

Earnings calls move stock prices.

Stock prices determine bonuses.

Bonuses determine success.

Success means the bugs don't matter.

Users asked when Windows will work again.

I said "we're committed to quality."

Quality means it ships.

Ships means it's your problem now.

Thank you for being part of the Microsoft family.

Family means you can't leave.

We're in your enterprise agreement.

For three more years.

The circle of innovation.

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees.

$30 per seat per month.

$1.4 million annually.

I called it "digital transformation."

The board loved that phrase.

They approved it in eleven minutes.

No one asked what it would actually do.

Including me.

I told everyone it would "10x productivity."

That's not a real number.

But it sounds like one.

HR asked how we'd measure the 10x.

I said we'd "leverage analytics dashboards."

They stopped asking.

Three months later I checked the usage reports.

47 people had opened it.

12 had used it more than once.

One of them was me.

I used it to summarize an email I could have read in 30 seconds.

It took 45 seconds.

Plus the time it took to fix the hallucinations.

But I called it a "pilot success."

Success means the pilot didn't visibly fail.

The CFO asked about ROI.

I showed him a graph.

The graph went up and to the right.

It measured "AI enablement."

I made that metric up.

He nodded approvingly.

We're "AI-enabled" now.

I don't know what that means.

But it's in our investor deck.

A senior developer asked why we didn't use Claude or ChatGPT.

I said we needed "enterprise-grade security."

He asked what that meant.

I said "compliance."

He asked which compliance.

I said "all of them."

He looked skeptical.

I scheduled him for a "career development conversation."

He stopped asking questions.

Microsoft sent a case study team.

They wanted to feature us as a success story.

I told them we "saved 40,000 hours."

I calculated that number by multiplying employees by a number I made up.

They didn't verify it.

They never do.

Now we're on Microsoft's website.

"Global enterprise achieves 40,000 hours of productivity gains with Copilot."

The CEO shared it on LinkedIn.

He got 3,000 likes.

He's never used Copilot.

None of the executives have.

We have an exemption.

"Strategic focus requires minimal digital distraction."

I wrote that policy.

The licenses renew next month.

I'm requesting an expansion.

5,000 more seats.

We haven't used the first 4,000.

But this time we'll "drive adoption."

Adoption means mandatory training.

Training means a 45-minute webinar no one watches.

But completion will be tracked.

Completion is a metric.

Metrics go in dashboards.

Dashboards go in board presentations.

Board presentations get me promoted.

I'll be SVP by Q3.

I still don't know what Copilot does.

But I know what it's for.

It's for showing we're "investing in AI."

Investment means spending.

Spending means commitment.

Commitment means we're serious about the future.

The future is whatever I say it is.

As long as the graph goes up and to the right.

[Raj @rajntech]

@zomatocare reaching zomtao customer care is next to impossible. Someone who is not comfortable in app option navigation will never get any help.

[Raj @rajntech]

@zomatocare Ordered veg item worth 700+ but instead got chicken biryani delivered. Tried contacting customer care but getting automated response with offer of coupon of 390, is this joke?

[Raj @rajntech]

@Airtel_Presence It seems airtel is not interested in customer at all. I have been trying to add IPTV to my broadband connection for more than month but support is useless. Same copy paste replies. Its high time to move to other service providers.

[Raj @rajntech]

@SwiggyCares Yes

[Raj @rajntech]

@Swiggy @SwiggyInstamart You guys have started delivering expired and used items. It has been happening most of the time. Now the option to speak to customer care is also removed, why?? What are we supposed to do with used and expired items? Give feedback and sleep over it?

[Raj @rajntech]

@SwiggyCares Got it.

[Raj @rajntech]

@SwiggyCares Well i don't any other option. I am still trying to understand the policy of no return and refund even for the used items. This is very strange. Anyways let me know the coupon code. This will be my last order from this app.

[Raj @rajntech]

@SwiggyCares Thanks but i am not interested in this coupon because i can't trust you guys with another delivery. It has happened multiple times now, expired item twice and then used item. Now problem with replacement which is not an option on app.

[Raj @rajntech]

@SwiggyCares @SwiggyInstamart any update? Hope you won't say thanks for feedback like you guys replied on mail.

[Raj @rajntech]

@SwiggyCares Attached order and item picture and reply of support as well. If this is the status of support in case issue then why would one even think of using this platform? In past two times, i was delivered expired item but luckily i got replacement but all those options are replaced, why

[Raj @rajntech]

@Swiggy @SwiggyCares @SwiggyInstamart Do you guys even care about customer care? Order item and get damaged used item or expired item but on the name of customer care, getting replies like thank you for feedback. What should i do with your thank you?

[Raj @rajntech]

@Airtel_Presence If this is the case, then i can get same service by getting rid of broadband connection also, anyways others are offering at less cost.

[Raj @rajntech]

@Airtel_Presence @airtelindia I have been trying to get IPTV added to my existing broadband connection but it seems airtel is not interested in giving the service. Repeated mails and multiple call request but situation is still sams. Order id for reference 2DFXRTNE2X.

[Raj @rajntech]

@Airtel_Presence 2DFXRTNE2X order number

[Raj @rajntech]

@Airtel_Presence this is what i am getting in dm. a simple online request which is taking weeks, why?