Rebecca Alter

nothing like a good feeling | @vulture Volturi

[Rebecca Alter @ralter]

HELP i'm captive on the carousel of time and CAN'T GET OFF

[Rebecca Alter @ralter]

how's this for an idea: for the next 3 hours, for every 100 words i write i get to eat one organic non gmo cheeto

[Larry Fitzmaurice @lfitzmaurice]

Something to keep in mind

[Rebecca Alter @ralter]

@matthewgmull i wouldn't put it past betterhelp to pull that kind of thing

[Rebecca Alter @ralter]

new cigna plan at work is going to make mental health care unaffordable but at least there's this

[Rebecca Alter @ralter]

need a brain transplant real real real real real real real bad help me

[Rebecca Alter @ralter]

everybody needs to calm down and shut up for a second and watch la gradiva

[Rebecca Alter @ralter]

i ❤️ type on computer

[Rebecca Alter @ralter]

@moonbutt_sonata her face is a map of the world is a map of the world

[Rebecca Alter @ralter]

i need everyone to actually alter their birth certificates to change their birthdays so they're not all when im out of town THANK YOU

[Rebecca Alter @ralter]

last night i watched a show where kim kardashian got attacked by scorpions and a show where a footman poured milk in tea wrong and the tea thing was crazier https://t.co/6u7srP9Gba

[Rebecca Alter @ralter]

"His little Canadian frame struggling beneath me."

[Billy Evans @per_asp3ra]

I really wish they'd kept the scene where I wrestled Nathan, Borat style. Full top mount. His little Canadian frame struggling beneath me.

I thought he was in on the joke.

Until he wasn't.

Imagine realizing that in camera

[Rebecca Alter @ralter]

La Bola Dorinda

[Rebecca Alter @ralter]

man on sidewalk just said "you look like the real life chucky girl id childs play with you" :(

[Rebecca Alter @ralter]

pimple on the tip of my nose to humble me

[joyful critter @masochistmartyr]

so was spongebob :)

[Rebecca Alter @ralter]

capris, for me? are actually Long Pants.

[Rebecca Alter @ralter]

i was enjoying the this is lorelei album playing in this bakery and then the manager sort of gave the employee shit and made her put on chappell roan and i now have to not go to this bakery anymore...

[Rebecca Alter @ralter]

@WilliamPrevidi fair, it's more the spirit of the thing