ranch, MD

of course my views do not reflect those of my employer, I’m literally just ranch

[The State Champ @6Astatechamp]

Imagine having to repeat kindergarten. Like damn, it might be over for you and you’re just getting started

[ranch, MD @ranch_311]

@greaserburger What’s the status of the home inspection chief? Specifically, where did we land on black mold?

[@_@ @eIfen]

good morning

[6’5 guy @65cj200]

Platonically I attract such amazing people! The most amazing people in fact. Romantically is where it all goes south.

[kieran🧃✝️ @eko_kieran]

no way 😧😭😭

[Lexi Kent-Monning @lexicola]

I’m in the waiting room for a mammogram and there’s a lady who’s conservatively 97 years old and can’t hear, and they keep asking her “HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU GOT YOUR PERIOD” at top volume and she’s repeatedly responding “never ask a lady her age”

[cappropaganda updates @cappropaganda]

My waitress was cute so I wrote my number on the customer copy of the check and brought it home

[⟢ ⟣ @vamptact]

shawty bad, like morally

[Bruiser Broski @BeastCoastNYHC]

There is no such thing as illegal blood alcohol content while driving on stolen land

[santos-inistas @JDabknee]

“is 26 too old to move and start over?”

[Rice President Thomas Cruise @mollypilled]

Showing my barber beheading videos and asking if he can do that

[jestr1123 @jestr1123]

still can’t believe his name is just dumbass wagecuck

[E D. Awg @Emawnish]

using adderall so I can mansplain to women faster

[Victoria Rose @woahhvickyyy]

My dad and mom were both alcohols

[Laissez Lexi @LaissezLexi]

Toddler is trying to figure out how to say "truck" so he's just screaming "CUCK" at every dude driving a truck and I am in tears