JJ ☆ shedtwt (relapsing/out of psych ward)

#edtwt ☆
170cm • girlboss in distress, 20 yo.
tw: ed | relapsed

[JJ ☆ shedtwt (relapsing/out of psych ward) @randomgirliii]

@m3l0xdyy These comments pmo. Literally. Asking people to decide your hours of starving??? They're desperate for likes and basically blaming their starvation on those same likes. My opinion. I know we're all sick but pls.

[JJ ☆ shedtwt (relapsing/out of psych ward) @randomgirliii]

OMG I FINALLY GOT TO WEIGH MYSELF AGAIN WHEN I VISITED A FRIEND!!! I LOST 5 KG IN JUST 2 WEEKS

[JJ ☆ shedtwt (relapsing/out of psych ward) @randomgirliii]

@vampiricprncss I was at bmi 14 and I still weighed without clothes simply cause I always weighed myself before or after a shower

[JJ ☆ shedtwt (relapsing/out of psych ward) @randomgirliii]

@mouseisventing Please don't take this the wrong way...but you seemed so much happier in the first two videos, I mean I can't deny that I also felt weaker at 95 lbs so maybe it's that but just wanted to point that out, stay safe 🫶

[JJ ☆ shedtwt (relapsing/out of psych ward) @randomgirliii]

So I finally got to weigh myself...I don't have a scale yet. Used te one at the mothership (I'm not calling that bitches place my home) and I definitely lost weight but not nearly enough

[JJ ☆ shedtwt (relapsing/out of psych ward) @randomgirliii]

@_pupcream And they're all kids 😭 like I'm starting to feel old here just cause I'm 20

[JJ ☆ shedtwt (relapsing/out of psych ward) @randomgirliii]

I kinda just wanna die rn. I binged today and even though I purged most, I feel like I gained 10 kg. Impossible, I know. And I've been in a huge deficit the last few days. But it's killing me to not see an obvious change in my body 😭 f body dysmorphia. I want a scale already

[JJ ☆ shedtwt (relapsing/out of psych ward) @randomgirliii]

It feels like I'm losing no weight even though im in an extreme deficit, I think it's body dysmorphia, if I had a scale I'd see the difference...I'm thinking of ordering one, not like I'll be spending the money on food

[JJ ☆ shedtwt (relapsing/out of psych ward) @randomgirliii]

@urdadisgay4me_ @cutmewoo Same but shhhh we gotta act normal

[JJ ☆ shedtwt (relapsing/out of psych ward) @randomgirliii]

I NEED A SCALE. I am freaking out. So bad. Moving out was the best decision ever but my mom didn't allow me to take the scale and I don't have the money to buy one.

[JJ ☆ shedtwt (relapsing/out of psych ward) @randomgirliii]

@catyyywwjm8w Omg they remind me of my own, but mine are currently faded from sunburn lol

[JJ ☆ shedtwt (relapsing/out of psych ward) @randomgirliii]

I am literally so god damn hungry but I'm scared of eating food cause I purge everything I eat. And yes I mean everything...gosh I even purged my diet coke 😭 DIET. COKE. I didn't even eat 100 calories today and it's probably less cause I purged it all

[JJ ☆ shedtwt (relapsing/out of psych ward) @randomgirliii]

The fact that getting vape refills is more important to me though...

[JJ ☆ shedtwt (relapsing/out of psych ward) @randomgirliii]

The realization that I'm malnourished hit me again just now, I've been passing out from the heat here in Germany for the past few days but just now i decided to go for a walk. Bad decision. I almost collapsed in public. Sat down on a bench last second

[JJ ☆ shedtwt (relapsing/out of psych ward) @randomgirliii]

Ok so my graduation dress fit me when I was at 44 kg. First Pic. SO TELL ME HOW TF AM I WEARING IT NOW AT SUPPOSED 62KG??? (I haven't weighed in weeks

[JJ ☆ shedtwt (relapsing/out of psych ward) @randomgirliii]

@yetiibugg Right, it is so important and people forget that sometimes, also the exact kind of food you eat is also important, if I stuff myself with even just 500 cals of candy every day I'm gonna have a higher bf % than if I eat stuff like fruit and veggies aswell as protein

[JJ ☆ shedtwt (relapsing/out of psych ward) @randomgirliii]

@yetiibugg Nah cause I feel that! When I was at bmi 21 a year ago I looked way different. I went down to bmi 15, regained the weight during a psych ward stay but did a lot more sport throughout it so I had a way better bf percentage when I started losing again

[JJ ☆ shedtwt (relapsing/out of psych ward) @randomgirliii]

@c0kezer0_0 I did that in the clinic daily, wasn't allowed sharp objects but cigarettes were allowed so I got creative...they eventually took my lighter though

[JJ ☆ shedtwt (relapsing/out of psych ward) @randomgirliii]

@yetiibugg Wait I genuinely look like you at bmi 21.8 what the hell 😭😭 workouts maybe?

[JJ ☆ shedtwt (relapsing/out of psych ward) @randomgirliii]

The fat is from the avocado I ate, I ate half a avocado with toast and 7 cherry tomatoes today...genuinely so glad I'm back on track