Lizardo (Lou Ouija) D' Ammit

Be wary of the quiet ones. I'm not that. I like light rain and long walks with my smart watch off because I don't need two phones harassing me all the time.

[Lizardo (Lou Ouija) D' Ammit @randomover2]

This is the Goliath Birdeater Spider. It primarily eats insects, earthworms, frogs, and toads, despite it's name. Also this particular species is extremely skilled at drafting.

[Penny @farmgirlfunny]

5 things about me you may not know:

Um, actually I’m pretty much an open book with you guys.

Sorry. I got nuthin.

[Uncle Bob 🍩 @UncleBob56]

Hello darkness my old friend.
I stood up way too fast again.

[Uncle Bob 🍩 @UncleBob56]

And God said: "Come forth and receive eternal life".

I came in fifth, but won some great parting gifts!

[Lizardo (Lou Ouija) D' Ammit @randomover2]

@FrankieBuIIshit Hell yeah.

[𝑴𝒐 𝑴𝒐𝒉𝒍𝒆𝒓 @MoMohler]

A Dollar General employee putting out their cigarette to come in and ring you up is a great sign of respect in their culture.

[Lizardo (Lou Ouija) D' Ammit @randomover2]

https://t.co/b9tK5mG7Ke
HDT!

[Lizardo (Lou Ouija) D' Ammit @randomover2]

My wife recommended that I work out or organize some of the cabinets, but I think I'll just take a nap instead.

[Lizardo (Lou Ouija) D' Ammit @randomover2]

Not much, just sitting here watching my fingernails grow waiting for the plumber.

[Lizardo (Lou Ouija) D' Ammit @randomover2]

Make sure and give Elon your money today because he doesn't have enough.

[ScottW @jswtreeman]

Not a lot of people know this but the “PO” in C-3PO stands for pissed off.

[Böoooob Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke]

If you ever feel like you aren't good enough just remember, Johnny Ramone could barely play the guitar

[Super Ghoul @usasmitty]

Look. Building a new Crack hotel.

[Lizardo (Lou Ouija) D' Ammit @randomover2]

@comicjeenyus I think there would just be something that says this feels hella impersonal.

[Lizardo (Lou Ouija) D' Ammit @randomover2]

If you buy a titanium cutting board, you have more money than common sense.

[Lizardo (Lou Ouija) D' Ammit @randomover2]

@Bob_Janke With that being said, I saw Velvet Revolver in Rockford in 05 and Bun E Carlos and Rick Nielsen from Cheap Trick came on stage and they jammed the living shit out of "Surrender.'

[Lizardo (Lou Ouija) D' Ammit @randomover2]

@Bob_Janke Maybe that's because Scott Weiland got the "Accidental mixed-drug toxicity (cocaine, ethanol, and MDA), with contributing factors including asthma, cardiovascular disease, and substance dependence award of the year" 11 years ago.

[Philosopher King, Oracle @signalborder]

Consider the lilies of the field;
They toil not, and while you’re doing that, I will be over here going through your stuff.

[Philosopher King, Oracle @signalborder]

Doing the Heimlich maneuver on random people at the grocery store.

[Lizardo (Lou Ouija) D' Ammit @randomover2]

@Adora2000 Did you have it with spilled, I mean grilled cheese?

[Adora 2000 @Adora2000]

White shirt, tomato soup. Let’s see who wins!