Lizardo (Lou Ouija) D' Ammit

Be wary of the quiet ones. I'm not that. I like light rain and long walks with my smart watch off because I don't need two phones harassing me all the time.

[Lizardo (Lou Ouija) D' Ammit @randomover2]

This is the Goliath Birdeater Spider. It primarily eats insects, earthworms, frogs, and toads, despite it's name. Also this particular species is extremely skilled at drafting.

[🔥Firecracker-K🔥 @KaRaRacn75]

I think each day I’m gonna do a S/O to help people gain followers!

[🔥Firecracker-K🔥 @KaRaRacn75]

I bump heads with people cause I speak up.

[🔥Firecracker-K🔥 @KaRaRacn75]

She took the midnight train.. just to get the fuck away from you.

[Lizardo (Lou Ouija) D' Ammit @randomover2]

@KaRaRacn75 No clue.

[Lizardo (Lou Ouija) D' Ammit @randomover2]

Well, I'm under review again. I'll probably be stripped of all the glorious blue check mark fame. See all you other losers in the free cheese line.

[Lizardo (Lou Ouija) D' Ammit @randomover2]

What's in your ballet.

[Dolla Sto Waffles @Wook316]

I'm gonna bake cookies but out raisins on them instead of chocolate chips, securing my place in Hell

[Dolla Sto Waffles @Wook316]

I had to buy rope and duct tape today.
I added a bible to it, so I wouldn't look "creepy"

[🐺 Horror Archaeologist 🧛‍♂️ @ClassADude]

*Man inventing pockets in trousers*

Women should never wield this kind of power.

[🐺 Horror Archaeologist 🧛‍♂️ @ClassADude]

Woke up naked in the forest next to a bloody deer carcass the morning after a full moon again. Weird.

[Lizardo (Lou Ouija) D' Ammit @randomover2]

If you can find my face within this Giordano's tavern style pizza I'll venmo you fifty bucks.

[Lizardo (Lou Ouija) D' Ammit @randomover2]

I body slammed your Mom to get this blue check mark.

[Lizardo (Lou Ouija) D' Ammit @randomover2]

@laxerra You have one, don't you?

[Lizardo (Lou Ouija) D' Ammit @randomover2]

If you buy a titanium cutting board, you have more money than common sense.

[Lizardo (Lou Ouija) D' Ammit @randomover2]

I have a blue check mark now, that means I make good toast.

[Lizardo (Lou Ouija) D' Ammit @randomover2]

If you're happy and you know it clap your (mutual funds heavily dictated by a busy tech earnings season and anticipation surrounding the Federal Reserve's interest rate decisions) hands.

[Lizardo (Lou Ouija) D' Ammit @randomover2]

@BratsNBaseball Did someone request your permission for something?

[Lizardo (Lou Ouija) D' Ammit @randomover2]

Never forget, you're mutable.

[Lizardo (Lou Ouija) D' Ammit @randomover2]

https://t.co/bwjN2sgGKX
This is my jam.

[Lizardo (Lou Ouija) D' Ammit @randomover2]

Sex so great you forgot it was sex and thought you finally had a friend.

[Penny @farmgirlfunny]

5 things about me you may not know:

Um, actually I’m pretty much an open book with you guys.

Sorry. I got nuthin.