Observerrec

[Observerrec @randomtheoryguy]

@KneelforV It’s like you people don’t even know the fucking basics of what you’re doing on here.

[Observerrec @randomtheoryguy]

@KneelforV Not just a shit domme but a shit human. 🤷‍♂️ you should offer aftercare to someone who needs it because it’s one of the foundations of BDSM. The chemicals in the brain change and then drop after a session potentially leaving someone in a vulnerable state.

[Observerrec @randomtheoryguy]

@GoddessLunaRae1 True.

[Observerrec @randomtheoryguy]

@GoddessLunaRae1 Grown adults can have mental issues, addictions, compulsions. Once you’re in a dynamic with someone you do have some responsibility. But I guess it’s just easier to shake your hands of it. Part of being a dominant is recognizing when your submissive might be hurting themselves

[Observerrec @randomtheoryguy]

@findommekhloe Both can be wrong.

[Observerrec @randomtheoryguy]

@DominaSnow @dominatrixem Very well said. I think many also learn from the posts of other dommes, including those who mock men for asking questions or trying to communicate respectfully or mocking aftercare. I wish there were a lot more voices like you because you’re an actual professional

[Observerrec @randomtheoryguy]

@SirenSeraphina I appreciate it. It led to me retiring from this space. I now use this for other purposes but findom stuff still pops up on my feed from time to time. I spoke to some other kind dommes since then who helped me process what happened without wanting or accepting anything from me.

[Observerrec @randomtheoryguy]

@SirenSeraphina The danger is that healthy dynamics can turn unhealthy fast. On both sides. But from my perspective I experienced a domme I served for a long time go from ethical and caring to emotionally and financially abusive. Just a complete change up of personality with no communication

[Observerrec @randomtheoryguy]

@SirenSeraphina I think a lot of the findom culture rewards that behavior too though. I’ll see a domme post all men are subhuman who deserve to be destroyed. Dozens of dommes will comment saying how right and perfect that is. another foundation of BDSM is respect and that’s really lost here

[Observerrec @randomtheoryguy]

@SreyashmonarChy @givetoginger And very much appreciated

[Observerrec @randomtheoryguy]

@SreyashmonarChy @givetoginger I had an in person session once. It was a bit of findom with some physical pain. Afterwards she hugged me tight for a long time and and we just talked while we hugged. She emailed me the following day to make sure I was ok. I didn’t ask for the aftercare it was just offered

[Observerrec @randomtheoryguy]

@AllForArelia Unless someone has done something really bad everyone deserves consideration and empathy. You do too…even if you consider me subhuman for no reason at all.

[Observerrec @randomtheoryguy]

@SirenSeraphina Yup.

[Observerrec @randomtheoryguy]

@SirenSeraphina Many clients do this because of low self esteem and self worth. It’s emotional and financial self harm because they feel like they deserve it. It’s not practicing kink in a safe way. Many SW know this and exploit and encourage this.

[Observerrec @randomtheoryguy]

@HoodlessAF @givetoginger That’s not BDSM or healthy kink. That’s having low self value of yourself.

[Observerrec @randomtheoryguy]

@givetoginger Aftercare should be offered for findom too if it’s a large amount of money or a regular sender

[Observerrec @randomtheoryguy]

@thesilentrouge @BaileyisBratty @Satan_shewolf Is findom not a kink and part of BDSM? Aftercare is one of the foundations of BDSM

[Observerrec @randomtheoryguy]

@Satan_shewolf @BaileyisBratty @notjustaleah Just reassurance that it’s kink play and if he feels he went overboard or is feeling down or scared he needs to try to budget himself better next time or something. Just talking to someone like a fucking human being maybe ?

[Observerrec @randomtheoryguy]

@spoilmegs @JillsSimps Aftercare is a foundation of BDSM and has been before you even heard of findom because in proper dynamics that are not based on abuse the well being of both people is cared for and respected. IK having empathy and seeing ppl as human beings is a weird concept to horrible people