randumshitposter

[randumshitposter @randumshitpost1]

@BFMTV Hold the fort!

[randumshitposter @randumshitpost1]

@Jiankui_He Bro all my homies laughing at me right now cause I told em you was a real one you know? Told em you was gonna take us into the future with flying piss monkeys and shit you know? The ones that can fly and piss at the same time? Now you out here talkin this weak ass shit?!

[randumshitposter @randumshitpost1]

Sign of da times

[randumshitposter @randumshitpost1]

@salesforce If you pay me a million bucks I’ll fuck and suck everyone in your office

[randumshitposter @randumshitpost1]

Antipasto sounds like anti Italian propaganda

[randumshitposter @randumshitpost1]

At least now we know how the Gauls felt like watching the fall of Rome lmao

[randumshitposter @randumshitpost1]

Who cares about the election results

All I care about is my erection results

Spoiler alert I got a bonar

[randumshitposter @randumshitpost1]

My balls are absolutely packed full of microplastics!

I’ve been collecting my cum and making various household items that I’ve been slowly ingesting over the years

This is real recycling not your performative cuck maneuvers!

[randumshitposter @randumshitpost1]

@BarackObama @Dodgers Yo B rock come hit a blunt with me

[randumshitposter @randumshitpost1]

My anatomically correct Winnie the Pooh Halloween costume was NOT appreciated by the woke mob

[randumshitposter @randumshitpost1]

Gonna stare at the sun till I gain superpowers

With these powers I will right many wrongs and only rarely abuse them for financial gains

I will begin around noon should only take a couple hours to reach my full potential

Non cowards feel free to join

[randumshitposter @randumshitpost1]

The nicest thing you can do for someone is eat their ass

[randumshitposter @randumshitpost1]

I, like many before me, became a sink pisser after hearing Adam Carolla sing its praises on Loveline all the way back in the 90s. It's convenient, time and height-wise, and for the conservationists out there it saves a massive amount of water.

[randumshitposter @randumshitpost1]

@JoseCanseco Brother you ever seen the Roman coliseum? It’s amazing what Italians can do when they put their minds to it

[randumshitposter @randumshitpost1]

@JoseCanseco Brother ive stopped walking

[randumshitposter @randumshitpost1]

@AOC Oh word?

[randumshitposter @randumshitpost1]

@AOC Yo queen Waddup?

[randumshitposter @randumshitpost1]

@JoseCanseco Yo king

[randumshitposter @randumshitpost1]

There’s a forth hole?!?

[randumshitposter @randumshitpost1]

Do you think if you squeezed really hard you could suck piss back in through your dick like an elephant?