Randy's Beard

What's this in here? A chicken wing bone?

[Randy's Beard @randysbeard]

@choochoobear I'm here for you, man.

Unless you shave.

[Randy's Beard @randysbeard]

@choochoobear Scooby-Dooby-Doo, where am I?

[Randy's Beard @randysbeard]

@clarineharp @choochoobear @NanDesuKan I would be there, but I'm tweeting from an anti-shaving protest in eastern France. Oh, no! Tear gas!

[Randy's Beard @randysbeard]

@dcorsetto Same old lake? I'll be there in a week.

[Randy's Beard @randysbeard]

@choochoobear Someone should draw chalk outlines around them. Not saying who should, but ... someone ...

[Randy's Beard @randysbeard]

@choochoobear Wait until you read the essay I'm attributing to you: "Happiness Is a Warm Canadian Convention."

[Randy's Beard @randysbeard]

Living in the Slight South -- my Facebook feed looks like the Confederate Army vs. the Skittles Army.

[Randy's Beard @randysbeard]

@choochoobear It took me four days to get my jalopy fixed. Burned out headlight with two rusted screws.

[Randy's Beard @randysbeard]

@dcorsetto Still could use a neuralyzer and a noisy cricket.

[Randy's Beard @randysbeard]

@dcorsetto That outfit needs a neuralyzer and a noisy cricket.

[Randy's Beard @randysbeard]

@choochoobear Does the promotion come with a raise?

[Randy's Beard @randysbeard]

@choochoobear @Buffalocrisps Jembeaus.

[Randy's Beard @randysbeard]

Irony: A man infamous for beating women wins a fight by not getting hit.

[Randy's Beard @randysbeard]

Fighting for justice in Baltimore ... and Pringles and sweet tea and feminine hygiene products ...

[Randy's Beard @randysbeard]

@dcorsetto Find one that's close and trade it. Housekeeping: "Hey! Somebody swiped a pillow and left a Spongebob in its place!"

[Randy's Beard @randysbeard]

@dcorsetto Was it the Graybles piece? You were pretty pecan nutty in that one.

JK. You came across as almost depressingly sane and lucid.

[Randy's Beard @randysbeard]

@dcorsetto There is no Danielle, only Zuul!

[Randy's Beard @randysbeard]

@dcorsetto My rule has always been clear: If you say it better than I can write it, I will quote you. (Not as an ego issue, of course.)

[Randy's Beard @randysbeard]

@dcorsetto Rarely are long TV interviews ever presented unedited, and the same should be the rule in print. "Clarity in concise copy."

[Randy's Beard @randysbeard]

@dcorsetto It's the writer's job to present readers with a clear picture of you -- not to toss it all out there and call it the whole story.