Randy Scholz

is thrilled to be back at Twitter after previously being seen in replies. Previous social media credits include FB, IG, MS, FS and others. love to fam

[Randy Scholz @randyscholz]

I'd be really good at writing security questions for your company's website. For instance THREAD/

[Randy Scholz @randyscholz]

At Point Defiance Zoo, the choices that come with a kid's meal are: waffle, milk, or juice. The big 3.

[Randy Scholz @randyscholz]

@TedDansonBDay @GuacTalks FYI

[Randy Scholz @randyscholz]

Looks like you misspelled a word

Suggestions for "teh"
-thee
-tree
-three
-these
-thrice
-terrycloth

[Randy Scholz @randyscholz]

Never change, Facebook Marketplace

[Randy Scholz @randyscholz]

Nobody:

Dental receptionists: tell me what you're doing on April 9th at 10:15am right now

[Randy Scholz @randyscholz]

"have a safe flight" is literally the worst advice

[Randy Scholz @randyscholz]

The word could just be "ensurance" and it would be fine

[Randy Scholz @randyscholz]

Let's play Guess The Residual Total. Closest wins.

[Randy Scholz @randyscholz]

I've reached the "I can only say 'Okaayyyy' like Rick from Pawn Stars" phase of parenthood.

[Randy Scholz @randyscholz]

#parenting in the smartphone age is fun because you're like "aw child come look at this cute video of this turtle getting a bath!" and then it turns out the video is a guy just cleaning the turtle before putting it into a soup.

[Randy Scholz @randyscholz]

When you stop using "oval" as a noun and start using it as an adjective as intended, your life will change.

[Randy Scholz @randyscholz]

What in gods name is up with this father

[Randy Scholz @randyscholz]

If they ever want to make an Arrested Development band they should call it Chareth Cutestory and The Great American Scallops.

[Randy Scholz @randyscholz]

My favorite part of #ChatGPT is the knowledge that they'll do a rebrand soon and they'll get to choose which name to completely ruin for all time, like Dennis or Corinne.

[Randy Scholz @randyscholz]

R came up with Mac and cheese lemonade tonight and ok

[Randy Scholz @randyscholz]

Well I just got chatgpt. It was really great getting to know some of you.

[Randy Scholz @randyscholz]

Hearing my daughter decide which shoes she wants to keep based on their speed.

[Randy Scholz @randyscholz]

"but what if one day we need twenty THREE of these cups and we aren't able to wash them??"

[Randy Scholz @randyscholz]

I don't completely understand the game, but I'm sure I'm only about one or two of these away from winning it

[Randy Scholz @randyscholz]

"what's wrong with you when you sing? I don't like it when you do that."

-my daughter, acutely in tune with my challenges leaving the stage