RantyEnglishman

Expressing what annoys me with short rants about life in England. 🔞

[RantyEnglishman @rantyenglishman]

Il start:
Swallows what’s in your mouth before shovelling more in or your choke

[RantyEnglishman @rantyenglishman]

#TuesdayThoughts

Tell me a sentence you could both say during sex and at a family dinner?

[RantyEnglishman @rantyenglishman]

Deceiving parents to cover #TrueFriendshipIn4Words

[RantyEnglishman @rantyenglishman]

#lol jokes those yanks think that they won independence......
Give them untill they appoint some strange orange bloke...... they will wish they still had us!!

- British Empire - 4th July 1776

#1776Twitter

[RantyEnglishman @rantyenglishman]

#4thofJuly #4thofJuly2018 #IndependenceDay

[Rich Piechowski @Piech42]

RT if you love this man.

#GarethSouthgate #England #COLENG #WorldCup #WorldCup2018

[RantyEnglishman @rantyenglishman]

So the morning after the night before and I still can’t and he’ll feel a little emotional that we’re through to the quarters!

But as we have won our first ever penalty shootout in World Cup history surly that means

⚽️
It’s coming home it’s coming home ⚽️

#ENGCOL

[RantyEnglishman @rantyenglishman]

Getting a broken heart from someone that you can’t live without ..... #ItWasntInTheFinePrint

[RantyEnglishman @rantyenglishman]

#LostMySmartphoneSo

I read the back of the shampoo bottle when relieving myself

[RantyEnglishman @rantyenglishman]

#Advice

To all Women,

We understand it’s hard to find a nice guy but when you state:

•must be 6ft+
•Must have a 6 pack
•Must drive a BMW
•Must won their own house

And in your picture you look like someone found you in the gutter do you not think your asking too much?

[RantyEnglishman @rantyenglishman]

#IfYouFollowMe

You will most certainly be disgusted by a large proportion of my tweets

[RantyEnglishman @rantyenglishman]

#YouCanLeadAMooseToWaterBut you try and get it onto water skis...... impossible!!

[RantyEnglishman @rantyenglishman]

#WordCup2018 #Germany right now

[RantyEnglishman @rantyenglishman]

#NeverOnAFirstDate

Turn up wearing only a belly top and using your already hardened male organ pretend to be a helicopter

[RantyEnglishman @rantyenglishman]

So how to people come up with idiotic ideas such as this? #Facebook #FacebookMarketPlace #DisillusionedTwat

It don’t even work and this idiot thinks someone’s going to swap or buy this piece of shit!!!!

#IdiotWednesdays #IdiotsExposed

[RantyEnglishman @rantyenglishman]

#NHSShitGate
So the morning after in the big @NHSEngland house and tensions are still growing between Mr N and the other housemates

https://t.co/J2XFeU5WH0

[RantyEnglishman @rantyenglishman]

So my mate is spending the night in hospital and well he’s not taking it so well...... this is a few of his messages regarding #NHSShitGate

[RantyEnglishman @rantyenglishman]

#NHSShitGate (15/15)
This ends with a reflection of tonight’s events.....
Maybe he wasn’t having a shit and it took 4 nurses to please this monster....

[RantyEnglishman @rantyenglishman]

#NHSShitGate (7/15)
We’re nearly halfway now and more staff required

[RantyEnglishman @rantyenglishman]

#NHSShitGate (14/15)
To be fair I think if I had managed that I may feel similar!!