Percy

Paranormal Cracktivity

[Percy @ratsoncrack]

Date night with bestie Benadryl 🥰

[Percy @ratsoncrack]

@fsixve Did you name a bicycle after me?

[Percy @ratsoncrack]

I’m supposed to be thirty, flirty and thriving, not ugly, poor and always failing to meet expectations despite giving my best effort

[Percy @ratsoncrack]

@vangobot Spoiler: it’s because he drew it on with a sharpie

[dont test me ill shrink u @vangobot]

kris kringle you old dusty bitch, get ready to get got

[Percy @ratsoncrack]

@citrusymikan More like SLAYzy Town

[Percy @ratsoncrack]

In my defence I had just woken up from a nightmare and she’s the only person I have on speed dial

[Percy @ratsoncrack]

“I’m in a gold tooth and ruffled collar kind of mood, but not like founding fathers ruffles more like gay vampire/pirate ruffles y’know?”
-me to my mother at 5 am or some other unglodly hour

[Percy @ratsoncrack]

Turns out I have a type (it’s left-handed virgos)

[jennie🌷 @maobabie]

😡

[Percy @ratsoncrack]

First of all, I wasn’t even trying to, but also what the heck did I do to deserve such punishment? I pretty much just post pictures of Japan. Does Japan violate community guidelines? @Meta @instagram

[Percy @ratsoncrack]

@QueenQueerbabe You stay up til 10??! That’s so late!! How do you do it??

[Percy @ratsoncrack]

I went from going to raves with my friends and snorting drugs we found on the floor to being a “we needed this rain” guy and I am not sure which is worse

[Percy @ratsoncrack]

@peach_kelli_pop Mystic Pop-up Bar and Hello, Me!

[Percy @ratsoncrack]

If I go out in a bikini today some guy called Ahab is going to try to harpoon me

(I mean this in the least sexy way possible)

[Percy @ratsoncrack]

I look at pictures of pretty gym girls when I’m at the gym in case any pretty gym girls want to know what I’m into

[Percy @ratsoncrack]

This is for @vangobot

[Percy @ratsoncrack]

*スペイン語で走る*

[Percy @ratsoncrack]

Happy my birthday to everyone. I am truly a blessing and you are all so welcome 🙏🏻