Ravishanker Pandey

Photography hobbyist, traveller, technology enthusiast and an IT professional

[Ravishanker Pandey @ravijmi]

@MoHFW_INDIA France and other EU nations are now allowing fully vaccinated Indian passengers without RT PCR. Any plan to include France in the list of countries allowed for travel to India with full vaccination? Last update to list of countries is month old. Please update. Thnx

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees.

$30 per seat per month.

$1.4 million annually.

I called it "digital transformation."

The board loved that phrase.

They approved it in eleven minutes.

No one asked what it would actually do.

Including me.

I told everyone it would "10x productivity."

That's not a real number.

But it sounds like one.

HR asked how we'd measure the 10x.

I said we'd "leverage analytics dashboards."

They stopped asking.

Three months later I checked the usage reports.

47 people had opened it.

12 had used it more than once.

One of them was me.

I used it to summarize an email I could have read in 30 seconds.

It took 45 seconds.

Plus the time it took to fix the hallucinations.

But I called it a "pilot success."

Success means the pilot didn't visibly fail.

The CFO asked about ROI.

I showed him a graph.

The graph went up and to the right.

It measured "AI enablement."

I made that metric up.

He nodded approvingly.

We're "AI-enabled" now.

I don't know what that means.

But it's in our investor deck.

A senior developer asked why we didn't use Claude or ChatGPT.

I said we needed "enterprise-grade security."

He asked what that meant.

I said "compliance."

He asked which compliance.

I said "all of them."

He looked skeptical.

I scheduled him for a "career development conversation."

He stopped asking questions.

Microsoft sent a case study team.

They wanted to feature us as a success story.

I told them we "saved 40,000 hours."

I calculated that number by multiplying employees by a number I made up.

They didn't verify it.

They never do.

Now we're on Microsoft's website.

"Global enterprise achieves 40,000 hours of productivity gains with Copilot."

The CEO shared it on LinkedIn.

He got 3,000 likes.

He's never used Copilot.

None of the executives have.

We have an exemption.

"Strategic focus requires minimal digital distraction."

I wrote that policy.

The licenses renew next month.

I'm requesting an expansion.

5,000 more seats.

We haven't used the first 4,000.

But this time we'll "drive adoption."

Adoption means mandatory training.

Training means a 45-minute webinar no one watches.

But completion will be tracked.

Completion is a metric.

Metrics go in dashboards.

Dashboards go in board presentations.

Board presentations get me promoted.

I'll be SVP by Q3.

I still don't know what Copilot does.

But I know what it's for.

It's for showing we're "investing in AI."

Investment means spending.

Spending means commitment.

Commitment means we're serious about the future.

The future is whatever I say it is.

As long as the graph goes up and to the right.

[Ravishanker Pandey @ravijmi]

@Traffic_M25 Any update please? At standstill for last 40 mins

[Ravishanker Pandey @ravijmi]

@mansukhmandviya sir please check if there is an plan to have an update of the list of countries whose vaccination certificates suffice instead of RT PCR for travel. Thank you and have a good day.

[Ravishanker Pandey @ravijmi]

@MoHFW_INDIA France and other EU nations are now allowing fully vaccinated Indian passengers without RT PCR. Any plan to include France in the list of countries allowed for travel to India with full vaccination? Last update to list of countries is month old. Please update. Thnx

[Ravishanker Pandey @ravijmi]

@carnextcom You have been a really pathetic company when it comes to customer service. I have purchased a car from https://t.co/kfi2lwLO6l and even after multiple emails, calls, all that you say is we will respond to email. Its a joke. Next is a letter cancelling the purchase.

[Ravishanker Pandey @ravijmi]

@Darty_Officiel Hello, there are some misleading sponsored messages on Facebook claiming to be from Darty France and giving away some scooter for €1.5, 1.99 etc. They are misleading and are taking users to a link which is scam for sure. Pls take note to prevent your customers.

[imabhitej @abhitejsingh]

Ballia me hum gehu kray Kendra pe 2 June ka token liye the par abhi tak Hamada gehu liya nahi Gaya Hai, ab to token no. bhi haat gaya, hamey bahut pareshani ho rahi Hai. Hum aap se guzarish kar rahe Hai iska samadhan ho.
@CMOfficeUP @myogiadityanath @myogioffice @dmballia

[Ravishanker Pandey @ravijmi]

@sundeepkrai @BloreVaccine @owl_blr Covishield or covaxin?

[Ravishanker Pandey @ravijmi]

@sundeepkrai @AirAsiaIndian Worst customer care.

[Ravishanker Pandey @ravijmi]

@Raghu_Ram_V @blrcitytraffic Thank you @whitefieldtrfps for your action today.

[Ravishanker Pandey @ravijmi]

@Raghu_Ram_V @blrcitytraffic @whitefieldtrfps @acpsouthtrf @WFRising Request swift action as this is causing trouble to resident of the society and causing issue with movement of vehicles in and out of BEB

[Ravishanker Pandey @ravijmi]

@Himank_k Wow, never knew about this hidden talent 🤔

[Ravishanker Pandey @ravijmi]

@VodafoneIN Wow, so you got time to look at my request only during your maintenance window? And you want me to again follow up tomorrow instead of looking it once system is Up. Anyways, nothing better than this expected

[Ravishanker Pandey @ravijmi]

@VodafoneIN I purchased a sum card at BIAL ystrdy, paid 1000 Rs.for a plan 2 month unlmtd data and immediate activation. Received msg that card will be activated at 8 pm. Has been more than 24 hours and nothing happened. Now m in home quarantine and there is no way to contact.

[Ravishanker Pandey @ravijmi]

@VodafoneIN There are humans sitting on other side who use twitter, they are not bots with just words like sympathy. You ask for private message and then don't bother solving the issue. Can I get an update on my issue of 7829935072? I need resolution ASAP.

[Ravishanker Pandey @ravijmi]

Same thing has happened to me as well. Their cc doesn't work and they hang up on customers. It's a ridiculous customer service. The whole purpose for which we paid this much is not served and on top of all this their bots are doing fabulous work responding to tweets. #pathetic

[govind @govindrajgb]

@VodafoneIN I was cheated by your folks in bangalore international airport by taking 1000rs for a new SIM and it is never recharged even after 5 days, the customer care is so useless that even after 4 complaints they clse the ticket without a resolution. Pls act KAR-V00010539536.

[Ravishanker Pandey @ravijmi]

@govindrajgb @VodafoneIN Same thing has happened to me as well. Their cc doesn't work and they hang up on customers. It's a ridiculous customer service. The whole purpose for which we paid this much is not served and on top of all this their bots are doing fabulous work responding to tweets. #pathetic

[Ravishanker Pandey @ravijmi]

@VodafoneIN Vodafone number purchased at BIAL for 1000 rs for immediate activation is not activated after 24+ hours. No response from customer care. Now in home quarantine, how do you expect us to reach someone or somebody for any help. Is it a racket or genuine service @ airport

[Ravishanker Pandey @ravijmi]

@gk_narayana @HCI_London @CGI_Bghm @IndiaInScotland @airindiain Same here, they blocked my IP and now am on a vpn but still the ticket status is sold out. Don't understand what they are up to. It's a chatbot response to all tweet.

[Ravishanker Pandey @ravijmi]

@HCI_London @CGI_Bghm @IndiaInScotland @airindiain If planning to travel as a family, registration on site needed for all including 7 yr old child? Or primary registrant can book ticket for all members? Individual registration on hci done for every member. Please confirm