Uncouth unzipped

[yinky the mega machine @beyond_oyinkan]

I saw a guy in dirty clothes drinking sachet alcohol and dancing on top of a moving truck. I scornfully shook my head.
Then I paused, and wondered who stole my own joy.

[Uncouth unzipped @rawbrazen]

@RoRoFli Yes, I caught my ex buying flowers
He said he bought it for me but I never got it
Appaz, he was sending it to another babe

[Take the Disability Quiz in my bio 🙏🏽 @misty_abisola]

Under my regime, once you launch your new fashion line and up to five of your designs look like what everybody and their tailor is already selling, you will be shut down. Because what exactly is the gap you claim you came to fill?

If more than two designers are producing the exact same designs, all of you will report to court and prove who launched first. If nobody can prove it, only the designer with the better price point survives. The rest of you, back to the sketchbook.

If your brand story and your designs are not speaking the same language, you will be shut down. You also cannot be shouting “empowering the everyday working woman” while your dresses start from ₦100k. You’ll be shut down and fined for your deceptive advertising.

If your finishing is poor and you still have the audacity to be launching more collections instead of getting better, you will be shut down and sentenced to two years of compulsory and intensive design training. You will only return to the market after you pass with an above-average score. No mercy because what are we here for?

If you just woke up one day and because you dress well, you decided to start a fashion brand without any training or real business knowledge, no fashion license for you. Bring a co-founder who actually understands design and the fashion business, then the state can listen to you.

To obtain the state fashion license, you must prove that at least twenty people in your immediate circle can actually afford what you’re selling. The state will not entertain “aspirational pricing.”

Everybody running RTW brands must think carefully before naming them. Words will mean exactly what they mean. If you claim RTW and you are operating like couture-by-whatsapp, you will be shutdown and fined wickedly.

If you give your designs traditional human names like Aduke, Ijeoma, Amaka and friends, the state will conduct background checks. We will locate real women who bear those names. If up to ten of them cannot afford the outfit you named after them, you will be barred from using human names moving forward. Because if the actual humans carrying the name of your design cannot even dream of buying it… what exactly are you doing? Tribute or subtle mockery? You and your pricing delusions will be shut down.

And if you say you cater to diverse body types, you must prove it. Either use state-assigned models across sizes or submit your casting for review. If your “diversity” is size 6, size 8, etc., you will not only be shut down, you will do jail.

[Uncouth unzipped @rawbrazen]

@ANSG231 Industrial weaving machine/overlocking machine

[Uncouth unzipped @rawbrazen]

@notsofinefgs Make I first block you

[6ɪx✦ @6ixxtar]

I’ve been so burnt out lately that I feel like I’m losing parts of myself. It’s been hard to communicate, connect, or even enjoy things the way I used to. I’ve been focused on surviving and staying strong in a chaotic world, and somewhere along the way, I forgot how to just have fun. Some days I feel stuck in survival mode, trying to find my way back to who I really am.

[Uncouth unzipped @rawbrazen]

@vibezblogger23 I knew I wasn’t crazy
I said this severally and someone was arguing with me

[a meek thug @gib_smoke]

even the money i was spending wisely don finish 😭

[MsGanja🍃💚🇳🇬 @Goddess_omah1]

I’ve decided to stop smoking from now till first of February 😔let restart the year on a clean slate. Wish me well

[𝑭𝒓𝒆𝒚𝒚 @Freyy_is]

okay imma just go ahead & speak this over me… I WILL have the biggest breakthrough season of my life THIS YEAR.

[• @gnf_ogo]

I go soon guide I dey feel am.

[𝖗𝖊𝖉✞ @_redfeels]

every time i see someone my age or younger doing well i feel an intense flood of shame & jealousy overtake me like being submerged with boiling water bc Why can’t i get my life together Why am i so messed up Why am i like this & i am trying so hard but Why them and not me

[chrxs @chrxsafc]

Some serious conversations need to be had about Don Toliver.

[Uncouth unzipped @rawbrazen]

@gib_smoke I send my plug money
E no deliver, wetin make I do am?

[Uncouth unzipped @rawbrazen]

I’m ready to launch my business
The fashion brand that has been on my mind since I was 13
I have 200,000 naira and I have to travel to Ekiti
Let’s say the trip costs 50,000 so now I have 150,000 left

[Uncouth unzipped @rawbrazen]

I left my job
Gave my boss a two week notice but I got fired the day after I resigned

[Uncouth unzipped @rawbrazen]

@Bigwavee00 iPhone 16 pro max

[Solyricon @Solyricon]

One night before going to sleep, I said, “This isn’t the way I want to be loved for the rest of my life,” and I left. I left the guy I loved the most.

[baeha 🪐 @jovialroots]

As Kanye once said, “if you hang around people who act like you aren’t who you are, you’ll forget who you are.”

[Dabz♨️ @societyhatesdab]

I wish Seyi vibez could drop music every Friday.