Kids today have no idea how good The Onion was, like when Autistic Reporter Michael Falk delivered this news package, “Train Thankfully Unharmed In Crash That Killed One Man”
Let's walk through what actually happened here, in order.
DOGE cut the USAID program specifically designed to prevent screwworm from crossing the U.S.-Mexico border. DOGE cut USDA's animal disease control and prevention funding. That funding had supported more than 180 outbreak investigations in 22 countries and capacity-building in more than 160 laboratories. The screwworm monitoring and response program that watched the border for exactly this parasite - cut.
Then screwworm showed up in Texas cattle. Texas Governor Greg Abbott declared a disaster for Zavala and Uvalde counties this week.
Agriculture Secretary Brooke Rollins went on CNBC this morning and blamed the Biden administration, 17 months out of office.
Her specific words: "obviously not much had been done to push back."
The program that was supposed to push back existed. DOGE eliminated it in March 2025. Rollins has been Agriculture Secretary since February 13, 2025. The cuts happened on her watch.
Beef prices are already high. Ranchers in south Texas are now dealing with a flesh-eating parasite that was eradicated in this country in the 1960s - eradicated, specifically, using the sterile fly program her department defunded.
The flies existed. The program existed. The budget existed.
Until it didn't.
Platner wrote a ton about his political beliefs on Reddit. He didn’t think it’d be read. He was a woke BLM guy who talked about the struggles of LGBT marines & got into arguments with Holocaust revisionists. There is no Nazi on earth who would talk like this. It’s dispositive.
Only thing I can say about Platner is it's far more believable he didn't know what that tattoo meant than that any of the 1 million times Susan Collins has claimed to be "shocked" or "concerned" about the horrible things she voted for that she's actually shocked or concerned.
@hemeanshim@OpsHQs You’re fucking retarded if you don’t understand the cartels are arms of the cia. Why do you believe the most poorly constructed propaganda?
@withinofwithin@OpsHQs@RapidResponse47 Tag some dumb trump shit too. You know the entire world sees you as a cuck? Who worships a senile diaper shitting pedophile?
🚨Mexican President Sheinbaum shatters the wall of silence:
'I am against the American-Israeli war axis. Bombing schools full of girls is not self-defense; it is a full-fledged war crime.' 🇲🇽💀
'Whoever calls the killing of children self-defense is an agent of genocide... and whoever remains silent about it is an accomplice in the blood.' 🔥🇵🇸"
@Asagron@ChrisEsplin Could care less that he supports another Epstein island attendee. Most of us are tired of billions of our tax dollars going into his pocket as he boosts white suprematists and lies to these naive retail investors about his companies as he’s about to pull the rug with this ipo.