Ben Malone

Legos model builder; day dreamer; comedian; one-man flash mob

[Ben Malone @realBenMalone]

Pitchers duels are best. #BaseballIn4Words

[Ben Malone @realBenMalone]

Head to The Joint Coffeehouse in North Little Rock for the Dogtown Comedy Showcase Tonight at 8pm! Featuring yours truly, @Xljared, and Headliner Keith Terry. It’s Pay-What-You-Can For Entry. Drink Specials:
Giddy Goat Coffee Milk Stout: $4 Pint Accumulation White IPA: $4 Pint

[Ben Malone @realBenMalone]

Call 911 #StrangeSafeWords

[Ben Malone @realBenMalone]

Cold. Flu. No sunlight. #WinterIn4Words

[Ben Malone @realBenMalone]

Not as bad as 2016. #2018In5Words

[Ben Malone @realBenMalone]

The only social network they can access is Facebook. #WaysToScareKidsIntoBeingGood

[Ben Malone @realBenMalone]

I’ll make him an Offspring he can’t refuse. #RuinMovieQuotesWithBandNames

[Ben Malone @realBenMalone]

I forgot to take my medication and #AccidentallyUnleashedADemon. (‘Demon’ spelled backwards is ‘No med,’ after all.)

[Ben Malone @realBenMalone]

@Xljared You pissed on my premise, @Xljared

[Ben Malone @realBenMalone]

#TeenSpiritSmellsLike piss on the bathroom floor

[Ben Malone @realBenMalone]

Definitely NOT on a Monday #PerfectDayIn5Words

[Ben Malone @realBenMalone]

#TheInternetTaughtMe that being asinine may not bring me love, but it can sure get a lot of attention.

[Ben Malone @realBenMalone]

Please delete my FB account. #TextsFromBeyondTheGrave

[Ben Malone @realBenMalone]

This is totally gonna work. Kids can’t resist pizza. #ThingsOverheardAtChurch

[Ben Malone @realBenMalone]

Toilet Training Yourself for Dummies #LesserKnownBooksForDummies

[Ben Malone @realBenMalone]

Camp Top One-Percent #OddSummerCamps

[Ben Malone @realBenMalone]

#YouCantFixStupidWith more ‘smart’ devices.

[Ben Malone @realBenMalone]

Plutonium. #UnlikelyDoorToDoorProducts

[Ben Malone @realBenMalone]

#IDontMeanToBeRudeBut ..... (quietly exits the hashtag)