Dan Flashes

Marquette Basketball fan account. Providing high quality, sophisticated, and complicated tweets (parody account)

[Dan Flashes @realdanflashes]

Final: Marquette 82 Maryland 89

Marquette looks like a girl who’s a 7 that you chat up whenever you see her, but she just got a boyfriend and told her friends you’re like a brother to her. Just rips your heart out. #MUBB #Marquette

[Dan Flashes @realdanflashes]

Final: Marquette 89 Little Rock 49

Marquette looks like a girl who’s a 7 but lets you down. The fight happens on Saturday night and by Wednesday you’re cool again. #MUBB #Marquette

[Dan Flashes @realdanflashes]

Halftime Report: Marquette 46 Little Rock 29

Marquette looks like a girl who’s a 4 but her younger sister is an 8 and playing eye tag with you. These freshmen can hoop. #MUBB #Marquette

[Dan Flashes @realdanflashes]

Final: Marquette 77 Indiana 100

Marquette looks like a girl who’s a generous 1 and laughs at her own trash jokes. She is forever a virgin. #MUBB #Marquette

[Dan Flashes @realdanflashes]

Final: Marquette 100 Southern 82

Marquette looks like a girl who’s a soft 7 and understands the implications a Quad-1 road win in late January has on section Sunday. #MUBB #Marquette

[Dan Flashes @realdanflashes]

alftime Report: Marquette 43 Southern 37

Marquette looks like a girl who’s a 6 and always says something like “I’m bloated” when you’re in the mood. Needs better energy. #MUBB #Marquette

[Dan Flashes @realdanflashes]

Final: Marquette 80 Albany 53

Marquette looks like a girl who’s a 6, but will do butt stuff. Exciting. Thrilling. Lots of potential. #MUBB #Marquette

[Dan Flashes @realdanflashes]

Halftime Report: Marquette 30 Albany 21

Marquette looks like a girl who’s a 5 but has good features. She’s one good glow up away from a 7.5. If you’re in a dark room or a little drunk, you’ll still hit. #MUBB #marquette

[Dan Flashes @realdanflashes]

Cant wait to watch the villain arc of 12 year olds begin next week. See the darkness rise within as tears fall down their prepubescent faces #LLWS

[Dan Flashes @realdanflashes]

@FPence43628 Shrink. Take your wife of 20 years there and go buck wild on her like you’re 18 and she’s a 20 year old smoke show

[Dan Flashes @realdanflashes]

@ChiSoxFanMike Mike don’t give up! It’s only a matter of time before you’re making money from being a sox reporter

[Dan Flashes @realdanflashes]

@ChiSoxFanMike No Mike! Stay strong! We will win 10 games this year! That wins the NFC South

[Dan Flashes @realdanflashes]

How many people don’t understand why the northeast is called New England?

[Dan Flashes @realdanflashes]

If Shaka Smart shaves his head before the tournament, Marquette will win it all @John_Fanta @MarquetteMBB #mubb

[Dan Flashes @realdanflashes]

@ChiSoxFanMike Don’t pay that. U can get season tickets for less

[Dan Flashes @realdanflashes]

@ChiSoxFanMike @MLBONFOX @RowanKavner Mainstream media doesn’t want you to know that instead of using analytics, you can get a badass manager, and badass, beer slinging pitchers and beat the shit out of teams in the postseason

[Dan Flashes @realdanflashes]

@ChiSoxFanMike Fuck em Mike

[Dan Flashes @realdanflashes]

@ChiSoxFanMike Don’t let them get to you. They have pussies where their nuts used to be

[Dan Flashes @realdanflashes]

@ChiSoxFanMike Don’t u dare get other hobbies. The reason u have this many followers is because u keep us going. We’re in this together. It will never get better. But damnit don’t be a fraud and quit on us.

[Dan Flashes @realdanflashes]

@ChiSoxFanMike Fucking love you Mike