earth's spitiest hero

More average than the average person. I think I'm funny. | she/her | Jokes here:

[earth's spitiest hero @realgreendress]

Apparently it's a Pee Ess 5 not a pss pss pss pss pss

[earth's spitiest hero @realgreendress]

What's it called when something implodes and explodes simultaneously?

Is that just a Twitter?

[earth's spitiest hero @realgreendress]

PayPal used to be the gold standard of secure online payments

Now it's the Doge standard

[earth's spitiest hero @realgreendress]

An electrician, a plumber and an HVAC tech walk into a house

Seriously this house is a disaster

[earth's spitiest hero @realgreendress]

Workin' 9 to fire

[earth's spitiest hero @realgreendress]

Eric Schmitt is in Missouri and considered extremely dangerous

[earth's spitiest hero @realgreendress]

Netflix didn't have Die Hard it had Love Hard.

Pretty sure it's the same thing

[earth's spitiest hero @realgreendress]

Robin Hood and Little John running through the forest
Scooping up the field mice and bopping them on the head

[earth's spitiest hero @realgreendress]

Grandma didn't get run over by a reindeer. Drivers are just exceptionally bad this time of year

[earth's spitiest hero @realgreendress]

Temp in the 70s, thunder storms and possible tornadoes, Christmas tree in the corner

Definitely seems like time for spring cleaning

[earth's spitiest hero @realgreendress]

@holocage @geekysteven That's what I said

[earth's spitiest hero @realgreendress]

New episode of Call the Midwife just dropped

[earth's spitiest hero @realgreendress]

@sheseemslegit This is what that song that said 'if the bones are good, the rest don't matter' was talking about

[earth's spitiest hero @realgreendress]

Cat always attacks the Christmas tree.

Unrelated, will a Roomba support the weight of a Christmas tree?

[earth's spitiest hero @realgreendress]

If you don't put your tree up before Thanksgiving, when do you put the turkey on the top of the tree?

[earth's spitiest hero @realgreendress]

The original tiger king

[mom mom mom mom mom @notmythirdrodeo]

I’m worried about Mrs. Tiger’s drapery choice.

[earth's spitiest hero @realgreendress]

If I had a pet phoenix, I'd name it Hot Wing

[earth's spitiest hero @realgreendress]

Neelix has been captured by the Borg on 4 separate occasions.

Neelix has been rejected by the Borg on 5 separate occasions.

[earth's spitiest hero @realgreendress]

Elon Musk- things aren't working out. I need space

Everyone- get spaced

[earth's spitiest hero @realgreendress]

Springfield, MO making national news for covid cases and spread but good news they are making it illegal to

(Checks notes)

Hit people in crosswalks