garf brooks

the desert is windy

[SODA9000 Ⓥ ✚ * · @sermonfanclub]

this is embarrassing

[idiot babe @goldfishbabe101]

Being 30 is all about buying a credenza and then telling everyone you “bought a credenza last weekend”

[Sabre | PHM arc @sabre_tv]

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: LOL

[Ricky Hollywood @victim_burn77]

I don’t know the origin of piggy banks but I like to assume it was a rural Polish superstition to exploit kosher law to protect your change from Jews

[Mr. Chau @Srirachachau]

This is obviously sweet but the reveal of the duck is Arrested Development-esque

[Amelia @smaffoo]

Miriam Margolyes was so real for this one

[Midwest vs. The Rest @midwestern_ope]

This came across our desk 2 years ago and I still can’t fathom what it means

[Tony Coffey @The__Goomba]

I respect the bravery of poking a bear and a beehive simultaneously.

[doomer @uncledoomer]

>italys financial system is party backed by cheese

[Janel Comeau 🍁 @VeryBadLlama]

me: hey do you have this movie I want to watch?

Disney: no

Netflix: not anymore

Apple: ew no

CBC Gem: yes and it’s free

Prime: maybe I do, maybe I don’t. Maybe it costs $5 for no reason, even though you already pay for this. Maybe you should fuck off into the sun.

[Gizmo 🏳️‍⚧️ 🇵🇸 @basedgizmo]

Dig up Dobby’s corpse and kill him again

[Dan Tracey @dantracey1983]

Hot Honey is definitely the new Salted Caramel which was previously the new Pulled Pork.

[Trey the Explainer @Trey_Explainer]

“The power cable now passes near Bronze Age human burial remains instead of fictional grave”

Bro we’re really living in an Onion article

[Maryam @hell_line0]

Jane Austen - I respect the "I can fix him" movement, but that's just not for me. He'll make himself better if he knows what's good for him.

Emily Bronte - We can make each other worse.

Mary Shelley - I can make him.

[Sam Steffanina @SamSteffanina]

nintendo lawyers having an aneurism as we speak

[pinkie @pinkamaniaa]

yeah breakups suck but have you ever been in love with a restaurant that closed down

[Ebo @EBoKnowss]

Hold up.

Tulsa National Little League is being accused of falsifying the existence of players with disabilities so they can form a super team?

IN LITTLE LEAGUE?!?!?