TheLieDetector

Well, your mouth and your mind are having this agree disagree game so far.
Business: [email protected]

[TheLieDetector @realliedetector]

"You’re so hot” I whispered as I took my plate of food out of the microwave

[TheLieDetector @realliedetector]

Me trying to get through life https://t.co/A8qmdaYqJ6

[TheLieDetector @realliedetector]

He surprised his dog on his way back from deployment😭 https://t.co/KQeyzr1bQ7

[TheLieDetector @realliedetector]

Jennifer Aniston 46 and she still hotter than every girl at my school

[TheLieDetector @realliedetector]

Greatest two minutes twenty seconds of my life 😂
https://t.co/MXugQbEWVK

[TheLieDetector @realliedetector]

He doesn't even have a pencil 😂

[TheLieDetector @realliedetector]

*skips tutorial*
how the fuck do you play this game

[TheLieDetector @realliedetector]

me: hey i was wondering if you wanna go out sometime
crush: no
me: wtF omG soRRY that was my CAT running across the keyboarD OMG!!!

[TheLieDetector @realliedetector]

2014: wow I was so ugly last year
2015: wow I was so ugly last year
2016: wow I was so ugly last year
2017: to be continued

[TheLieDetector @realliedetector]

people who laugh so hard at their own jokes that they cant even finish the joke bc they're laughing so hard are my favorite kind of people

[TheLieDetector @realliedetector]

I AM GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH

WITH MY OWn mouth

softly

because i like u

[TheLieDetector @realliedetector]

i wish i could say “?????????” in real life it would be very useful

[TheLieDetector @realliedetector]

When you want to go out with friends but also want to stay in bed https://t.co/0InLTmM2VO

[TheLieDetector @realliedetector]

Appreciation tweet for the parents of the Dolan Twins😻 https://t.co/H6Q5eGXC9M

[TheLieDetector @realliedetector]

My parents aren’t home
You know what that means
*sits in the living room instead of sealing myself away in my room*

[TheLieDetector @realliedetector]

When you finally accept that 2017 isn't your year so you're waiting for next year https://t.co/ZUj4rAD94D

[TheLieDetector @realliedetector]

It doesn't tell time, but still the best watch I've ever seen. https://t.co/yY1Wnss3T7

[TheLieDetector @realliedetector]

When summer finishes so u don't have to worry about your summer body anymore https://t.co/HuJ1Bskp6f

[TheLieDetector @realliedetector]

can you imagine if twitter just decided to shut down and all you see is confused teenagers coming out of their house squinting at the sun

[TheLieDetector @realliedetector]

when someone actually texts me first https://t.co/pKNzcdclNA