Really Bad Jokes

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A man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the zoo is a dog.
It's a shitzu

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Why did Adele cross the road? To say hello from the other side

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What do you call a nervous javelin thrower?

Shakespeare.

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why is Peter Pan always flying?

he neverlands

I like this joke because it never grows old

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Fat person: "I'm not fat! I'm big boned."

Me: "Big bones don't jiggle when you move!"

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Don't pick on fat people, they have enough on their plates.

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I met a girl with 12 nipples. Sounds freaky, dozen tít?

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If you're American in the living room, what are you in the bathroom?
European.

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My friend Gav died from heartburn this morning. I can't believe Gaviscon.

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What did Adam say to his wife on the day before Christmas? It's Christmas, Eve!

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What do you get if Santa goes down the chimney when a fire is lit?
Krisp Kringle!

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What does Miley Cyrus have at Christmas?
Twerky.

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What do you call a group of chess fanatics bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer

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Whats the difference between a knife and a girls argument?
A knife has a point.

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I just got fired by my job at the Pepsi company. I tested positive for Coke.

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Which US state has the smallest soft drinks?
Minisoda

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What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No eye deer.