realmaniac

tweeting randomness est 2009

[realmaniac @realmaniac]

@15amithrp @__Injaneb96 theres tons of sports that are much simpler

[World of Statistics @stats_feed]

GDP per capita

1990:
🇮🇱 Israel: $13,120
🇮🇷 Iran: $13,010

2026:
🇮🇱 Israel: $69,800
🇮🇷 Iran: $3,410

(IMF)

[Konstantin Kisin @KonstantinKisin]

I think possibly the best thing about Elon Musk becoming a trillionaire is how angry it makes a bunch of losers who've never built a thing in their lives.

[realmaniac @realmaniac]

@KILLTOPARTY @HempsteadTirez source: trust me bro

[realmaniac @realmaniac]

@Xfired14 @KingOffX_ surely your 10 followers care

[realmaniac @realmaniac]

@sovere1gntruth @MurrayHillGuy1 who is nigga

[sid @immasiddx]

Instagram growth gurus are so funny.

He can’t use his laptop because he’s holding a drink.

He can’t drink because he has a cigar in his mouth.

He can’t smoke his cigar because both hands are occupied. 😭

[realmaniac @realmaniac]

@rumackdh @MOSSADil @RealCandaceO @netanyahu she is irrelevant

[Ryanair @Ryanair]

passengers love this product

[realmaniac @realmaniac]

@rbeitnehm3r @DB_Bahn du bist 1 hrnsn

[Pub @PubWanghaf]

Uh I’m pretty sure 7 faggots have hung out before lol

[realmaniac @realmaniac]

@rafa614 @AmYisraelChai_X @Osint613 might? living under a rock are we

[Ryanair @Ryanair]

another happy customer

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees.

$30 per seat per month.

$1.4 million annually.

I called it "digital transformation."

The board loved that phrase.

They approved it in eleven minutes.

No one asked what it would actually do.

Including me.

I told everyone it would "10x productivity."

That's not a real number.

But it sounds like one.

HR asked how we'd measure the 10x.

I said we'd "leverage analytics dashboards."

They stopped asking.

Three months later I checked the usage reports.

47 people had opened it.

12 had used it more than once.

One of them was me.

I used it to summarize an email I could have read in 30 seconds.

It took 45 seconds.

Plus the time it took to fix the hallucinations.

But I called it a "pilot success."

Success means the pilot didn't visibly fail.

The CFO asked about ROI.

I showed him a graph.

The graph went up and to the right.

It measured "AI enablement."

I made that metric up.

He nodded approvingly.

We're "AI-enabled" now.

I don't know what that means.

But it's in our investor deck.

A senior developer asked why we didn't use Claude or ChatGPT.

I said we needed "enterprise-grade security."

He asked what that meant.

I said "compliance."

He asked which compliance.

I said "all of them."

He looked skeptical.

I scheduled him for a "career development conversation."

He stopped asking questions.

Microsoft sent a case study team.

They wanted to feature us as a success story.

I told them we "saved 40,000 hours."

I calculated that number by multiplying employees by a number I made up.

They didn't verify it.

They never do.

Now we're on Microsoft's website.

"Global enterprise achieves 40,000 hours of productivity gains with Copilot."

The CEO shared it on LinkedIn.

He got 3,000 likes.

He's never used Copilot.

None of the executives have.

We have an exemption.

"Strategic focus requires minimal digital distraction."

I wrote that policy.

The licenses renew next month.

I'm requesting an expansion.

5,000 more seats.

We haven't used the first 4,000.

But this time we'll "drive adoption."

Adoption means mandatory training.

Training means a 45-minute webinar no one watches.

But completion will be tracked.

Completion is a metric.

Metrics go in dashboards.

Dashboards go in board presentations.

Board presentations get me promoted.

I'll be SVP by Q3.

I still don't know what Copilot does.

But I know what it's for.

It's for showing we're "investing in AI."

Investment means spending.

Spending means commitment.

Commitment means we're serious about the future.

The future is whatever I say it is.

As long as the graph goes up and to the right.

[Ryanair @Ryanair]

the L in Ryanair stands for luxury

[mariana Z @mariana057]

The CEO of IKEA was just elected Prime Minister in Sweden.

He should have his cabinet together by the end of the weekend.

[realmaniac @realmaniac]

@DavidinAsia69 @MOSSADil your mom

[realmaniac @realmaniac]

@HamzaHariir @IanCarrollslow @KhateebRehaf @ComicDaveSmith normal boarder as in most secured absoluetely closed and sealed off boarder. right.

[realmaniac @realmaniac]

@RandomTheGuy_ @piersmorgan @kanyewest his music is shit

[Mossad Commentary @MOSSADil]

We apologize for not posting for 18 hours. We were busy