🍷 Kat 💋

Raw motherhood: I have no life. It revolves around everyone else's.
It's okay because I love them. #1DDRIVE

[🍷 Kat 💋 @realmumshit]

Today I chose to be a bad mom and let my child play on the tablet for 3 straight hours

Just so I had 3 hours without having to worry about him

It was like being a parent of 2 instead of 3

🍷🍷

[🍷 Kat 💋 @realmumshit]

Why is it the girls who say 'good things come to those who wait'

Are the same girls that move in on the first day of dating

And have court house weddings

[🍷 Kat 💋 @realmumshit]

Husband: it truly amazes me how much you don't depend on anybody but yourself

Me: don't forget it, means I don't need you ☺

[🍷 Kat 💋 @realmumshit]

Stop the fucking car

(As the car is stopped)

[🍷 Kat 💋 @realmumshit]

Yay, my child has lost his band sheet only 3 times this week 😅

Cheers 🍷🍷

[Ryan_Cao 😊💖✌️ @Ryan_CaoDat]

😂😂😂

[🍷 Kat 💋 @realmumshit]

My youngest child is 2 and I still wear maturity clothes
Cheers 🍷🍷

[🍷 Kat 💋 @realmumshit]

@MakingOfSense What if instead of days, weeks, months.. we just went off the phases of the moon

[The Making of Sense @makingofsense]

This is how the calendar should be. Each month has 30 days. Each week has 6 days, making it divisible by 2 or 3.

[Kat Klingensmith @KattFunny]

#ThingsPeopleShouldKnow
People don't sound smart when they correct someone's grammar.
They sound stupid for ignoring the content.

[Kat Klingensmith @KattFunny]

#ThingsPeopleShouldKnow
"I could care less" is correct. It's idiomatic and stems from Yiddish sarcasm.

[🍷 Kat 💋 @realmumshit]

@chellemybell22 Yes!

[🍷 Kat 💋 @realmumshit]

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

No shit
The longer my ex is absent from my life, the fonder I am of it

[🍷 Kat 💋 @realmumshit]

Of course my child tells me that he spilled apple cider vinegar in his bookbag when it's time for bed 😳

#ineedwine #sendwinenotnukes #wine

[🍷 Kat 💋 @realmumshit]

I thought the same about beanie babies https://t.co/OctPm3GrpW

[🍷 Kat 💋 @realmumshit]

#AsAKidIThought
I would never have children

[ⱠØⱠ₳ brrr 🥶 @_lola_bee]

#AsAKidIThought being a grown up would be so awesome... I was both right and wrong 😏

[🍷 Kat 💋 @realmumshit]

#AsAKidIThought
It was illegal to have a light on in the car

[🍷 Kat 💋 @realmumshit]

#AsAKidIThought
I'd never love to take naps

[NotSquirrellyMcMethHead⛟🐎🤠🇺🇸 @ggprez]

@On_The_Hook Apparently they're racist too!